Recently, abandoned houses, hotels, and businesses have been on my mind. There is one abandoned hotel in particular that comes to my mind, and it makes me sad to think that such a massive structure with so much potential has been given up on. Though, it’s not just that. It is also the fact that all of those memories of that place slowly deteriorate with the place, never once being recounted or acknowledged by anyone who took part in what it once was. When I see the outside of this unique structure, I imagine the kids peering out windows, the people in the dinning areas sharing the same view of a major road. Now I know that may not sound picturesque to you, but despite the poor location, the place once had life to it, I can just sense it. There is a whole floor plan, accounting for the special details of which rooms would go where, that we all take for granted that has now gone to waste. The materials used to create such a building lay in a wreck from the ware and tear of the homeless that inhabit it during off hours of the day, and others that find themselves drawn to this place for no particular reason. There needn’t be any reason, cause there’s just something about a building that once had life, but lost it in its prime. As ridiculous as it might sound, I think that sometimes demolishing buildings’ whose fate is to just rot away as people misuse and abuse it is the most humane way for a building to go. It is just so much wasted space, and so many precious memories that they disrespect by leaving it instead of replacing it. I know it is odd for me to go on about a building as though it deserves remembrance almost like a human, but for some reason it doesn’t sit well with me, or at least entices me to want to know more about what this building was like in its prime time. I understand that it is an impossible task to ensure that all buildings keep record of the quirks of the staff, the types of costumers they got, the things they served, the regulars, the crazy odd stories, pictures of the building, and the atmosphere that resonated through the now open, empty space, but that makes me sad. Although, I am one to also wish that all humans would do the same. Not necessarily recording every mundane detail of life, but just the highlights. That is kind of what this blog is for me. I don’t tell you all of the details, but I give enough of a hint of what really went down so that it will trigger the memory when I want to recount it in full detail.
With closed eyes, you begin to imagine your body in the space you have hidden from sight with the aid of your eyelids. The water trickles down your body and you’re at ease, but soon your blind perception has been lost at sea. There are waves and exaggerated features. Your head feels so heavy you get the sense that you have been transformed into someone’s bobble head toy. You feel tall. Then short. The fat. Then thin. Soon your entire body betrays you, each part taking turns warping itself into a shape and size you’ve never seen before. Eventually, the relaxation paired with madness ends as you shut the water off, dry your body and seek comfort from your bed. You lay naked, confused as to what is real and what is not. There is no connection with the body you see in the mirror and the eyes it belongs to, so the message of what shape, hew, and size your body is, is no longer properly conveyed. You rationalize that you know you’re healthy, but your mind doesn’t recall that when it takes you on the roller coaster through the amusement park of what is reality and what is not.