Acknowledgement

A while ago it was brought to my attention that we all are partially lacking in our skills of noticing the tiny details of other people. We focus so much on ourselves, and think about how we are coming across to the world, that we forget the best thing about life. We are on this planet, surrounded by vastly different people in every way. Every single person is an individual puzzle that is impossible to solve, yet that’s the beauty in it all. Sometimes we get lucky, and we find a puzzle we’re enamored with, and addicted to solving. Through this, we end up discovering an amazing attribute we may have never known existed, that lies within in us: selflessness. One thing that bothers me to no end is when we allow ourselves to get so caught up in our own world, that we fail to see the beauty in others. It is possibly one of the most disgusting attributes about humans— our tendency to always focus on ourselves. I just realized as I’m writing this, that that is probably why I dislike writing directly about my everyday life, highlighting every moment that revolves around me. Instead, I just wish to share my thoughts—not to hear myself talk, but in order to put these thoughts on a page so that someone can comment what they think about it.

Back to my point though. What is noticing necessarily? Like if we were to tell someone “I’ve noticed things about you,” what kind of examples would come to mind? Personally, I can only picture someone mentioning tiny quirks in someone’s appearance, or actions, not their mind. Though noticing those physical things is still quite flattering to the person being observed, more mind/ personality centered things would be refreshing. It would urge the subject to question how it is that this person picked up on that— especially when they may not have been aware of it before it was mentioned.

The issue with it all though, is that everyone wants to be the subject of admiration, not the admirer. It takes too much work being the admirer, so why not let the compliments and observations revolve around you. The thing is that if this is your mentality, you most likely don’t have much about you to be discovered. I’ve found that the most fascinating and interesting people are the ones in tune with others, and focus on things outside of themselves. It appears that the more you focus on everyone but yourself, the greater you become as a result. Not necessarily doing things for others, but just taking the time to get to know them, to observe them, to notice them.

Love

You find yourself more in love than you ever thought possible. There she lays, in your arms, perfect in every way. Every fiber of your being reacts in an instant to the reception of this precious little gift. She is your baby girl. You immediately acknowledge how fragile this little human is. In that moment, you vow to yourself right then and there, that you will do all you can to ensure that she is treated with the utmost care. She is a reflection of the love shared the night she was created. She is the product of the 9 months of cautious nurture and care of the beautiful womb that carried her. You felt this gorgeous baby’s kicks at night as your wife lay fast asleep. You anticipated her arrival, picturing how this new presence would change your entire world. What would this little bundle of joy look like? Smell like? Sound like? Interact like? Would she have you smile? Your eyes? Would you see a glimpse of yourself in her as her eyes sparkled with glee each time she saw your face reappear in a simple game of peek-a-boo? Many questions flooded your mind at night. Now everything has stilled, and the only question you have is right in front of you: “how will you let this precious child know everyday, without a doubt in her mind, that her daddy loves her?”

Days, weeks, months, years go by, and you see her grow up. She is everything you could have wished for and more. It’s not exactly what she’s done, or said, but in a way, it’s all of that. It’s the perfect imperfection of this little girl, the glimpses of you and your wife in this unique individual. Her smile radiates through the room. She has your blue eyes, she has your wife’s chestnut hair. When she wants something, she imitates your old puppy dog eyes that you used to use on your own parents– sometimes even on your wife as well (in a joking manner). She has an infectious giggle that brings a smile to your face every time you hear it.

One day she comes home from high school, and she tells you she met a boy. The smile on her face gives you the impression that this boy isn’t all that bad for her. You give her a light-hearted mock interrogation anyway, and ask her “does he make you happy?” “does he treat you right?” “is there really a guy out there perfect enough for my little girl?” Then you mention one last thing: “make sure that if he ever treats you any less than you deserve, you walk away, because you’re the most precious gift anyone ever could receive and he sure as hell better know that.” That night, thoughts race through your mind. You remember her first words, the tears you kissed away when she fell down and scraped her knee for the first time, the pride you had when she finally learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, the times you’d come in the kitchen and find her and your wife baking cookies, her first day of school. It all felt like it was just yesterday. Now she’s going on her first date. Your little girl has acknowledged the opposite sex in a new way. She no longer sees these boys as friends anymore. There is the potential that one of these days, she may even kiss one of these boys. That thought is tough to handle. This is your baby, the one you held in your arms. You face the fact that your little girl is now a sexual being, but with that comes primal intentions. How do you know this young boy will treat your daughter right, when all of his urges arise from such an primal place. Will he be able to control himself? On the other hand… will your little girl want him to control himself? A first kiss is enough to think about, but then there is so much more that could follow. Your sweet little baby’s body is seen as a sexual object now. Guys want to touch her and she wants to touch them too. Your darling’s sweet little hands and mouth may go places that would make you cringe. Picturing these things makes you sick. She’s your baby. The little girl that is only meant to be held by your loving, fatherly hands. It was only days ago that she was too small, to young, to walk on her own. So you held her in your arms for hours, staring at that spectacular little face. Your love for her was unconditional from the start, and will remain so until the end. You think of how the guys she will encounter won’t see her in the same light you have. Their love for her, if even love, won’t be unconditional for sure. Some will expect things of her. Some things you don’t even want to think about. The thoughts are put on pause, because you realize you’ll go crazy if you continue to let them ruminate.

So more days, weeks, months, years go by. Your little girl is officially a sexual being now (not that she wasn’t in the first place). There are many things that have happened that she hasn’t told you. She’s had her first kiss, she has experienced much more than that…, and she has gone through heartbreak. Guys have treated her with disrespect– she walked away just like you told her to— though sometimes she didn’t acknowledge it soon enough. The first boy to see your little angel’s unclothed, uncovered, innocent, bare body, trivialized it by jerking off to porn the following night. That boy that gave her her first kiss also gave her her first heartbreak when he cheated on her with a sexy cheerleader while he was intoxicated at a high school party. She dated the nice guys, the good guys, the losers, the jerks, the jocks. She also found the love of her life along the way, who treats her well, loves her in every way possible, and brings out the best in her every day. He’s the boy she’s bringing to thanksgiving when she comes home during the break. Little do you know, he’s the one. He encapsulates everything you could have ever wished for in a man that would hold your daughters heart.

Now don’t feel too relieved, there was another who almost won her heart before she fell for your new potential son-in-law. With this other man, things appeared to be perfectly fine. He was successful and had a fairly good income. He knew that this beautiful girl was too good for him. Yet when a problem would arise, he would blame her, he’d go into denial and would never apologize for his actions. Sometimes he would apologize— but only when it benefited him. If they would have married, he would have barked the words “get out of MY house” when he was frustrated. He would say things to tear her down, not build her up. Any accomplishment of hers would be overlooked. When enraged, he’d bring fear into your little girl’s heart. She would run to the closest room and lock herself inside until he had calmed down. He’s the one who would have stormed out of the house at  2 am in the morning, slamming the door behind him, screeching the car tires as he peeled out of the drive way. He would have been the one to bring doubt, fear, and sadness to your little girl’s heart those nights, making her ask why she deserved this treatment.

No one “deserves” to be treated that way. In this alternate ending, your little girl just found herself in a bad situation. Could you have imagined though, the heartache you would have felt for your little girl if it had gone that way? Wouldn’t you have wanted to walk straight up to that evil man and look him right in the eye and tell him off? Tell him he doesn’t deserve someone as amazing and precious as your little girl?

What if I told you there is a simple way to make sure that this never happens to your daughter/ future daughter? No one would ever break the heart of your bundle of joy, and it involves only one simple task: Treat everyone else’s baby girls with care. That woman you slept with tonight, that girl you’ve been planning to bang, the girl you cheated on when you were younger, the girl you only intend to sleep with. All of them are someone’s baby girl. Treat them as so. If not, how would you ever expect someone else to treat your’s with the utmost care?

Memories

The power of memory is terrible thing. The more you try to shut something out, the greater the force it has when it is reopened. We may not even try to fetch the memory, but our brain does it for us. One visual trigger is all it takes, and suddenly we find ourselves walking down memory lane. I would like to say the memories are pleasant because no matter what happens in the end, you can always think to the memory of what was once the reality, and it isn’t tarnished with age like the newest memories put to store. It sucks that having a scale of what one once felt is possible, simply by remembering one single detail. It floods our minds with emotions and drowns out our logic. We can’t rationalize. We can only think of the sorrowful feeling we get when we look back to those feelings. To know how powerful a simple touch or grasp, a biting whisper in our ear trying to contain its passion, a gaze that tells you everything you need to know, could remain imprinted into our mind forever. You begin to feel invigorated as you try to move past the heartbreak you once felt. You attempt to do a 180 and find a completely different type of feeling. But then reality hits you as you’re in the throes of a new fling, and you realize that it’s not the same. You tell yourself it’s what you wanted, change is good right? That’s not the case when the one who used to strive to change everything begs for it all to stay the same. They beg you to stop altering the world around them because it was once so fitting. It felt so right in that moment, and then in the next, it vanished right from their grasp. It is a terrible thing to have felt something and lost it, because sometimes you wish you had not felt at all. It’s impossible to live up to a passion as great as one has felt before, if it was the perfect fit. No one else could fit into the glass slipper, and it is the same with those who attempt to fill your heart with a new emotion. Compared to the perfectly slim and curved foot, it is too thick and soft around the edges. It may be a compassionate love, but it doesn’t fill the gap the same, even if it earnestly tries.

A true love story

When you look at my title for this post you may think you’re going to hear about a story of two humans growing closer and closer together. Well that is not what this is about…. This is about dogs, and all other pets alike that live solely to be around whenever you need a fluffy, silent, listening ear.
I used to have a dog. He was a beautiful little dog, and I will never forget all the memories I had with him. I remember when he would hear the garage door opening and come running to the door to great my family and I; when he would get all flustered when we would pretend we were dogs too, and started to playfully growl at him; his little soulful whine when he heard us mimic his little voice he would make whenever he would get sad; the way he would follow us around the house to find out what activity was up next; his soft fur; vibrant personality; his ability to keep his tail wagging through anything, giving me inspiration to try and be as optimistic as he was all the time.
I saw a picture online just a few minutes ago, that said: “he may just be a part of your world, but you are his entire world”. It had the cutest picture of this gorgeous golden retriever looking as adorable as ever :). When I think about that picture though, it makes me sad to think that some people may not realize how much love their pet truly has for them. Those small black eyes shining back at you are a sign that all that little guy has in his heat for you is pure love. If you think back to any time you were sad, can you remember how those ears were the only ones you could go to, knowing they wouldn’t judge you for anything you did? All they know how to do is look cute and make you feel better, no judgement, no extra grief, just love.
I know this is probably a very random post, but that picture made me feel the need to write something about my doggy that passed away a few months ago. Because I may not say this enough, but I sure miss the little guy, I just don’t always say it out loud <3.

To my little dog in heaven, you will always be loved…. :,) .

Just what I needed! :D

I’m pretty sure you have all heard of Mario, super Mario bros, Mario cart, and many other games with the Mario name tagged on it. Well Mario has a trade mark catch phrase: “just what I needed”. We seem to laugh at little Mario  or completely zone out his voice in all, but his catch phrase reins true. Sometimes something happens and you think to yourself, that’s “just what I needed!” Say you’re not as happy as you could be a certain day. Then out of the blue, either someone compliments you, makes a sweet gesture, or whatever it may be, it just lights up your mood, and your smile is contagious. A smile is one of the simplest acts of kindness that we can give out each day, why don’t we do it more often? Usually we don’t think back to the traditional southern hospitality mentality. Where you see someone, wave, smile, say hello, comment on what a great day it is. All whilst passing by. We have all seemed to adopt a little hint of the northern ways of interacting. If you can even call it interacting. I’m not saying that all northerners are evil people who don’t have a soul, but they seem to have an idea of where their going and how they will execute their plan with the least interruptions to meet all their dead lines. So now instead of talking to people casually passing, we avoid eye contact, in fear of the other person thinking we have the cynical mind of a serial killer out looking for their next prey, or the possibility of awkward prolonged eye contact, etc. It’s all just so confusing to think about, we bypass it all together. Unless….. the person is close to your age, and idea of a perfect mate, you will most likely think about trying as hard as you can to avoid giving them the wrong impression. Yet still even when you want to appear all vivacious and flirty to that eligible prospect, chances are you could very well, cop out and glance coyly to your feet, cause that’s way sexier than exchanging feisty eye contact with them….Back to my main point though, why does the human race grow more and more uncomfortable with the people passing by on the street. We’re all so self conscious about how others perceive us, for all we know they could be focusing on how they are being perceived way to much to even care how we slightly glanced their way. I’ve noticed that when I feel my most confident I have acted more confident, felt happier, and didn’t seem to get as bothered by the little slips I have made, cause I disregarded the way I was being viewed and just thought “what the hay, no one saw that anyway”. I tend to mainly feel confident about my self after a little boost of happiness though, and that’s where the phrase Mario is famous for: “just what I needed”. Some of my “just what I needed” moments have been when I accomplished a goal I set, saw an adorable picture of an animal (don’t judge…it is a happiness inducer all in the same), thinking about a funny moment, listening to a an awesome song, waking up feeling well rested, doing something I love to do, reading an amazing story (in a book, blog, artical, newspaper, etc.), laying on the finely trimmed grass in the summer with the heat of the sun on your back and the breeze cooling you off, when someone compliments me, when I get a nice hug from someone, and many other day brightening mini events.

I hope you had a “just what I needed” moment today, because they truly can turn a sad, neutral, uneventful day, completely around.  

A sweet little memory

This is the short story of Nicholas and Haley. I didn’t know much about the two of them or how they initially met. What I do know, though, is that they both played part in one of the cutest memories that will be forever stuck in my mind.

They both joined a class to widen their knowledge of nature. When Nicholas came into class the first day he was wearing an undeniably cute little plaid short sleeved button up, plus his binoculars that were hung around his neck. Haley was as pale as a cotton ball, with her thin woodsy-maroon hair pulled back into a light little ponytail.

It was about midway through the class when they were about to be led on a nature hike. Haley went to pick up Nicholas’s binoculars for him, because he had placed them on the table during one of the activities. Confused, Nicholas quickly made his way over to her and exclaimed “Haley! Are you trying to steal my binoculars?!”. Shocked that he would even accuse her of that, she quickly replied, “No Nicholas, I would never do that, I- I-I love you Nicholas!!”. Relieved, but still quit puzzled, he answered back, “Oh.” The two made their way out of the class room along with the rest of the group.

Whilst on the walk Nicholas pondered what Haley meant by love. He walked up beside her and asked, still quite taken aback, “If you love me, does- does- that mean we’re going to get married someday?”. Haley looks looked at him and responded as though the answer was completely obvious, “Of course not Nicholas!! I’m going to marry my mommy and daddy!”. Still quite perplexed by this confusing little lady he simply replied once more, “oh.”