Lately you may have noticed, that even though I’m posting more frequently than I have in the past, the posts aren’t long, and the content is very vague and random. Truly, there is an underlying theme, and if you deciphered hard enough, I’m sure you’d find it, but for the time being, I have to remain vague. Lately I’ve been keeping to myself about a lot of things. So by nature, I feel compelled to write it out since otherwise I would feel like a shaken up soda can ready to burst. You see, in a way, those of you who read my blog are given more insights into what’s going on in my life, and you don’t even know the half of it. Imagine those that I don’t even show a single sentence of these posts to. They are informed of even less. Originally I planned to keep this blog completely anonymous, but as of now, I have about 5 people I know in person who have access to my posts. At first I was glad to finally be able to just mutter “read my blog” to save myself the effort of reiterating a thought or idea. Though now, it’s not as nice. The moment you’re going through an unpleasant moment in your life is when anonymity appears the most appealing it ever has. I wish I could write as freely as I once did, but given the fact that it’s no longer anonymous, I can’t do that. So I will continue admitting every unfiltered detail of my thoughts and feelings, but for now, they’ll be expressed through metaphors, or vaguely described from a detached observer (referring to my post written in second person, titled: “Why They Leave”).
For those of who you who may have just stumbled upon my blog as of two seconds ago, or those of you who have followed me for a while, I would like to explain what the name inconspicuousbeings means to me.
When I first began with the blog, I thought about what kind of content I would write about. During that time in my life I thought that my posts would be from a perspective of one who goes unnoticed. One who never attracts the attention some crave. I believed that in no point in time would I ever lust after someone who would actually return the interest. Or that I would ever impress anyone with my ability to stand my own in a social setting. To be well poised, graceful, and possibly verging on witty with my interactions. That is what sparked the idea for the inconspicuous part of the name. I thought the official definition fit perfectly. Inconspicuous – not clearly visible or attracting attention; not conspicuous. The beings part to the name was originally to begin writing as someone who feels unnoticed. Maybe even find a fellow blogger along the way who had felt similarly, and would decide to comment to tell me they knew how
I felt. Recently I have realized that at that point I felt unnoticed, but now I feel completely the opposite. I have the ability to have confidence in myself that I feel I didn’t have before. Maybe you all haven’t realized that I am a confident person through my writing. Possibly you all felt otherwise. That is because through this blog I can vent my feelings. My anger rants, sad rants, happy rants, my stories, and anything else I please. I don’t write to impress, I honestly write to share whatever raw emotions I feel. Sometimes I may not put up a confident front for you guys.
Inconspicuousbeings to me, no longer means going unnoticed. Now it means a community of people who can pour their thoughts, soul, ideas, feelings, etc. onto an internet website for those to hear. On WordPress, it isn’t mandatory to upload a picture of yourself to be ridiculed or attached to your writing. You’re not even required to add your official name. WordPress allows anyone who pleases, to be completely anonymous. We can secretly write how we feel about something or someone, and our thoughts and feelings can be completely confidential on our WordPress page. That is unless they know you have a blog, and avidly read it. Or they happen to see a blog post in passing, and it coincidentally is about them, written by you. Of course the only way they know it’s you is because it is the entire story about them, written from your point of view…
I have only told one person about my blog, and I plan to keep it that way. That way I can anonymously write my rants, and it never has to be read by the people or things they’re about. I’m not saying my blog is now going to turn into some evil internet version of the “burn book” in Mean Girls. I’m just saying that when someone happens to frustrate me, I like to know that my internet journal is only a few clicks away :P.
Farewell my fellow bloggers :).