Cheating and Superficiality

    I don’t know about you guys, but since when has our world become so obsessed with photo shopped beauty, cheating, affairs, the lust for one you can’t have, and drama, that we can’t even realize that all we need is love. We all may not realize it, but we search for it day in and day out. Looking for that connection with something or someone, whether it be a passion and love for a hobby, or a lover. Sometimes I think that we look away from the deeper connection with those things, and become far too attached to the superficial value something can bring us. I would like to defer back to the typical holly wood high school drama that plays day in and day out in movie story lines. The popular girl is the girl who obtained the highest exterior value because she has the best clothes, and obtained an enviable hobby: cheer leading. Because all cheer leaders must be like the ultimate gifted gymnast in bed, and have gorgeous hair, and are just the most amazing person ever. Even though being a girl, I could never tell you the comparisons between their sexual abilities compared to a regular girl’s abilities, I can bring up one possibility. Unless the guy they get with is ok with the same “routine” they have mastered, I’m pretty sure you’d be that girl who can f like a porn star. Maybe that girl only blows people’s minds with the coordination she has for those moves because shes rehearsed them a billion times. Okay I’m little off topic, but I will get there…. Just one more thing, and that is that that same popular girl goes the extra mile to up her status by getting the guy every girl fawns over. The guy whose looks seem like they’re strait from a magazine, or whose athletic abilities will bring him to the NFL, NBA, and so forth, but who doesn’t treat a girl right. That girl is only looking for how she will look being with him though, so she must not have that big of expectations for the integrity and personality he has. 

    I dare say though, that maybe people should start searching for a deeper connection in life. When you start to go steady with that one person, give your all. Show them that they chose the right person, and don’t treat them like they’re lucky to have you and you are just a settler. When you have that mind set, they always give, and you don’t; they give their feelings, effort, time, life, and so much more to you. They invest in you, open up, and share about themselves. If you never commit those parts of yourself, you’re never prone to heartbreak, only to leaving heartbroken people behind you. I believe that the ones who hurt the most after their relationships are the ones who love with all their heart the most. Giving people those things can lead to feeling like you opened up, and they didn’t love the real you. But truly, they couldn’t suffice enough of an effort to build the relationship up, and that’s their problem. 

   Another thing I don’t get is when one stops loving someone, and instead of taking that person out of their misery, treats them terribly to try to get them to end it, and then meanwhile cheats on them. Or the two of you are blissfully happy, and then one of you wants a side fun buddy as well. Or when you opt for the hooker for fun, while you have a committed girlfriend who loves you. Yes, it’s hard not to be drawn towards a shiny object, one that’s new and you haven’t discovered or tampered with yet. It is exciting to open about a different book to see what’s inside. Some would also say that once you open that new book you realize it’s a terribly boring story, it just doesn’t speak to your heart the way the last novel you read did. Maybe you realize that you may know now what will happen with that old novel, but yearn for its predictable comfort, and unique soul it had to it. Then you realize that book has moved to the best seller rack, and to get a copy, you’d have to be the richest man in the world now to obtain just a copy of it. Now the original is safely displayed in a home where it is cherished and appreciated for that predictable story line that you tired of. Have fun with your random trash novel you picked up for 50 cents at the front counter of the bookstore. 

     I don’t know why we humans are the way that we are, our lust for many human bodies, shooting in different directions at once. it seems we’re never satisfied with just one gorgeous body, we need to lay our eyes on all of them. Instead of picking our favorite, we beg to have more than one, because it’s just so hard to chose one when we know that there are a billion more beautiful and diverse options out there as well. I think we should all forget about that one person who may have piqued our interest for one second, and think about how if we fall into the temptation just once, it could hurt someone that would never dare hurt us that way. 

     

     This is just basically another random rant lol. If you agree or disagree and want to add anything, I’d love to hear your comments :). Goodbye my fellow bloggers!! 😛 

Monogamy

All of my thoughts and points I make in this post are not to judge those of you are into/ ok with these types of relationships. If you’ve cheated in the past or have cheated in the present, I don’t want you to take this as a jab at the way you lived and choose to live your life. This post is just me explaining my point of view on the subject of monogamy and why I prefer it.

I don’t know why, but I’ve never liked the thought of dating many people, and then choosing my favorite. I’m not saying that having a selection of various guys to choose from and kiss, before making my decision, doesn’t sound nice. What doesn’t appeal to me though, is that while I would get to kiss whomever I want, they would also kiss who ever they wanted as well. Naturally, I am also just not a person who could kiss multiple people during the same week, month, or whatever time period it may be, with a clear conscience.  Also, you may get into a relationship with someone while they still feel something for someone they were just casually dating. I condone chatting around, and flirting around with multiple people as a form of ‘dating’, but sleeping around and kissing multiple people is just not something I agree with. In addition to my points above, is that having multiple romantic interests is germ city if you decide to go kiss and sleep with all of them. Kissing many people could give you: mono, aids (can be passed through cuts in the mouth), sicknesses/ colds, and other stuff I cant remember at this moment. Sleeping around could give you: one word…. everything.. Now, I’m not going to tell anyone else not to participate in the thicker (hard to get out of sticky situations pertaining to feelings) form of dating.

I watched this show one time ,where this girl was dating this man for a few weeks. During those weeks, she had naturally assumed that they were ‘going steady’.They had gone out on dinner dates, shared time at her place, shared mutual satisfaction at her place (sex), along with a couple other things. Come to find out, she discovers either through meeting another woman, or seeing another message from a woman that he was dating, that there was another woman, in addition to her. Shortly after her discovery, she confronts him. He tells her that he’s dating multiple woman, other than the one other woman, and her. All I could think was “that douche……“. I know that they hadn’t officially declared the status of their relationship, but they had been dating for 1-6 months (I’m not sure the exact length). Just think about it this way though…. teenagers now make sure they clarify with someone who asks them to be their boyfriend or girlfriend, if they mean ‘exclusively’. 

Now onto Monogamy in official relationships!!! 😀 …..i. e. cheating, open relationships, and the whole shebang!

For the rest of my life, I will never personally get into an open relationship, or stay with someone who serially cheats on me (maybe I wont even give them a second chance after just once..). When I think about being in a relationship and in love, I see myself only desiring my partner, and wanting to give only them my love. I feel that if love is given out to every person you are in contact with, equally, you will never really find a true love. If a kid made his mom a special picture and then as a way of showing her gratitude, she hugged him. Then proceeded to hug all of her other children directly after she hugged her little boy. He wouldn’t see that as a way she appreciated his gift, he would think it was as if there was never even a gift he had given. That’s the way I feel like it would be for someone to tell their partner that they truly love them (because they have that fictitious ‘gift’ they gave, which in this case is their unique love). Then go on to tell their partner they want to share the love and happiness they feel towards their partner to a ton of other people too. There is only so much love we can give, until all of  the recipients start to feel gypped. Our love running thin, is close in contrast to a mother with many, many children. She wont have much time to give to each one what they desire, because she needs to give that love to the rest of her children she loves.

Onto cheating….. why do people do it? Just why…..?!?! The main causes of cheating come from a deficit in the relationship, in compatibility (one of them wants an open relationship, so forcefully creates the situation for them self), or thrill of having many people desiring them, etc. It’s quite a selfish act…. it’s self indulgent, lack of thought for your partners feelings, and using another person to fill whatever void you may have. If you cheat because of a deficit in your relationship, don’t go searching for total fulfillment in two parts (two different women, or men). Respect your partner and end your relationship. Then, find complete fulfillment, with just one partner. Now, if you cheat conscientiously and then tell your partner you’re sorry and want another chance, you should keep in mind that if you truly wanted to keep your partner in the first place, you wouldn’t have done anything to mess with your relationship.

Now that you have fully read this, I would like to remind you of this, still no judging! :p. Just thought I’d share my perspective. I watched a video today that touched on this topic a bit, so it made me think to write a post of my own about it.

Adiós fellow bloggers! 🙂