A letter to my future kids and I 

To me: When they make mistakes and your blood is boiling, know this: you were like that once too. Remember that “one big mistake”? Remember how you only knew the stove was hot when you accidentally placed your hand on it for the first time? We have to make mistakes in order to learn, and these precious little people you call your children may happen to make more than one simple mistake. These posts you write now promote a little bit of rebellious thinking, so allow them to approach life fearlessly. When they do something dumb, don’t approach them with a judgmental glare, talk to them, perhaps give them the time to explain their mistakes through writing. You know you did your fair share of that kind of explaining in your teenage years. Maybe the letters they write will aggravate you just a tiny bit, maybe you won’t be able to sympathize right away. Think back to this time right now, the moment you wrote the post to your future self and kids in the back of your french host family’s car on the way back to France from some place near Vouvre. You talked big game, but your actions didn’t represent the rebellion your words promote. That’s a product of punishment. The first tiny mistake you made left a burn in your mind, remaining imprinted forever. Each time your rebellion begs for a chance to breathe you remember the disapproving looks and words. You remember the judgement. To you the judgement may have appeared a little uncalled for for the situation, but you still feel remorse for your actions the night of that one big mistake years ago. So from then on out you continue to live a little more on the safer side than you typically would. You don’t act without thinking first. Some may judge you for lacking the ability to just act on impulse and spontaneity, but they weren’t around when you heard those disapproving words. Don’t give your children the same visual that halts them from making more than one simple mistake. Their mistakes are what will help them grow. When they trip and fall while navigating this difficult time, hold your tongue when you feel tempted to say “I told you so.” 


To them:

I want to start off with one thing, and that is this: I was never perfect, and never will be. If I ever pretend that I didn’t make the same mistakes you’re making at this age, I want you to search long and hard through this blog, because there will most likely be a post to prove otherwise. The reason I write, for others and for myself is to document a history. Sure it’s not monumental, and perhaps others have gone through these things, and it all appears to be yesterday’s news, but these stories need to be remembered. This is a testament to how I was throughout all of my growth. My good moments, but also my bad moments. When I had all of the confidence in the world, but also when I was breaking. The reason I show you this blog is because I want you to be able to read it before you go through some of these hard times, that way you’ll know when you’re going through them, that you’re not alone. I’ve gone through and will go through my share of experiences that perhaps I’ll forget at times, but they’ll be on this blog forever. You know your grandma and your grandpa, the ones I call mom and dad? I would have loved to read about their mistakes. It’s very simple when you’re a parent to feign perfection, but we all know it’s not real. Your grandma used to tell me that she made mistakes at my age too, and she thinks I should learn from them before I make the same ones. The only flaw in her preaching is that she doesn’t give me specific examples, she just keeps it vague. Though, I realize it’s not the easiest or most pleasant thing to attempt to remember your worst moments from your youth. Through this blog, I’ll spare my future self from the hassle of recounting some difficult memories, but feel free to ask me to elaborate on them if you’d like. 

When I was your age I respected my parents marriage, but at the same time was ever so curious about the relationships they had with the opposite sex throughout their life, before they met one another. But I never asked, and they never told. Sure I’ve gotten stories about the basic facts, but never in depth recounts of the emotions they went through/ felt towards those people. Here you’ll find more than you’d ever need to know about my past relationships before I met your dad. You’ll also find my thoughts about sex and other natural things we as sexual beings think about, but don’t always feel free to discuss openly. At this age I surely hope I will have explained the birds and the bees to you, but if not, I’d like you to make sure I do so. If I have, hopefully all your questions were answered in an open and accepting manner. I want you to know that no matter what you chose to do with your sexuality, whether it be to conform to society or not, I will love you as you are. Don’t ever feel you have to suppress your sexuality. It is one of the best things about being human. If your dad and I ever look at you and your boyfriend/ girlfriend with “disgust” as you’re making out, know that we’re simply kidding. Also, know that all of the “nasty” times you see me and your dad being “weird” (making out and grabbing on each other) in the kitchen, it is because we’re just as in love with one anther as we were years ago. 

Back to the letter though. The only time you’ll ever receive some tough love from me will be if you ever put someone down in order to build yourself up to be somehow superior to them. You’re my child, and my children don’t act like that. It is the one thing I detest the most, and will continue to detest until the day I die. Whenever you talk to someone, whether it be to your sibling, a friend, or a stranger remember that you are equals. No one is better, and no one is worse. 

By reading all of my old posts you’ll find my stories, my experiences, and my thoughts throughout my years. I hope that through reading these you’ll feel that you can come to me more freely, knowing I went through a similar thing. Lastly, I would like you to end this knowing that I will always love you no matter what. Perhaps it’s strange of me to be writing this so early, many many many years before you will be a reality, but I have a tendency to be weird and unconventional with what I post on this blog. 


A sweet little memory

This is the short story of Nicholas and Haley. I didn’t know much about the two of them or how they initially met. What I do know, though, is that they both played part in one of the cutest memories that will be forever stuck in my mind.

They both joined a class to widen their knowledge of nature. When Nicholas came into class the first day he was wearing an undeniably cute little plaid short sleeved button up, plus his binoculars that were hung around his neck. Haley was as pale as a cotton ball, with her thin woodsy-maroon hair pulled back into a light little ponytail.

It was about midway through the class when they were about to be led on a nature hike. Haley went to pick up Nicholas’s binoculars for him, because he had placed them on the table during one of the activities. Confused, Nicholas quickly made his way over to her and exclaimed “Haley! Are you trying to steal my binoculars?!”. Shocked that he would even accuse her of that, she quickly replied, “No Nicholas, I would never do that, I- I-I love you Nicholas!!”. Relieved, but still quit puzzled, he answered back, “Oh.” The two made their way out of the class room along with the rest of the group.

Whilst on the walk Nicholas pondered what Haley meant by love. He walked up beside her and asked, still quite taken aback, “If you love me, does- does- that mean we’re going to get married someday?”. Haley looks looked at him and responded as though the answer was completely obvious, “Of course not Nicholas!! I’m going to marry my mommy and daddy!”. Still quite perplexed by this confusing little lady he simply replied once more, “oh.”

Act like child?

Have you ever looked at two little kids who just hit it off, and happened to not be of the same gender? You can tell that they have what we all call a ‘crush’, but to them it is the simple fact that they just love each others company. Little kids talk to the opposite gender and don’t think twice about it. When you start getting into your pre-teen age, teens, and so forth, it somehow becomes a little nerve racking when you see someone you want to get to know. Your mind immediately picks up on the fact that the person is a crush, the second you find them attractive. But instead of walking up to them right when you want to, you waste time thinking of what to say. The kid version of yourself would’ve just walked right up to the other little girl or boy, and asked if you could play with them…..(the kid kind of play that is). You’ll most likely not even approach that person if they are to good looking, and confident, because you have doubt that they will like you back, in that way. The expectations are set, and it’s far from go time. When I was little, I adored a few little boys in my elementary school class. I talked to each one and didn’t ever think once about the fact that I could have had a crush on one of them. Heck, I didn’t even know what it felt like to have a crush on anybody. Now that I look back on that time, I’m pretty sure I could have had a crush back then; I just didn’t know that maybe, subconsciously, my brain was thinking they were a perfect match if we stayed in touch until an appropriate dating age. I just felt like I was able to be completely me, without feeling the need to impress them. When crushes arise later on in life though, it seems as though we can no longer stay one-hundred percent true to ourselves because we’re always thinking of the next way to impress them, to seem more likable than all the others. Wouldn’t it be interesting if our child like carefree attitude stayed with us through life? Then the teen guys and girls would just talk to each other on the bus with out feeling like they needed to be fake, to be likable. Same with the men and women at clubs, coffee shops, bars, etc. It would just be weird, and unlike a man, to just come up to have a friendly conversation with you without quickly assuming you have to put them in the ‘date or don’t date’ category in your mind. Or say a woman walks up to a man in her high heels and he has to think between whether or not she’s working those high heels, or if she looks like she is going to fall down due to being top heavy, or if she has an over dominating kind of personality that he may not find attractive.

First of all, when you’re younger, the appearance of your peers doesn’t seem to matter because you all know that at that young of an age, your parents were still choosing the outfits you wore. Also, when you’re younger, you don’t dress yourself aiming to appear sexy, you dress as comfortably as you can. Little kids usually only judge each other on whether or not they like the same things, if you both like at least one thing that is the same,  you are then able to qualify into the friend category, as long as neither of you are mean. Although little children don’t have a clue about the dating world, maybe they have the right idea about the approach we should all take towards our opposite gender; Approach them with no label on what you will consider them, and just get to know the person they are before deeming them date-able or not. Also, don’t feel like you should have to put on a show to seem like that extremely likable pushover, if someone does something rude, just tell them in an adult manner, that you didn’t really appreciate it, like how you would do if one of your little peers when you were younger if they stole your toy. You don’t have to be fine with everything, if someone stole that toy that was yours, you wouldn’t have let them just take it without asking, because that’s rude.