PauseĀ 

I’m debating on whether or not to stop blogging for a while. At the moment my basic needs are unfulfilled, so I don’t have the same focus I did a while ago. I need to get back into my routine–working out, doing what I love, making time for myself and my non-blog writing (I write random stories sometimes…), and getting the oxytocin fix that I need. Lately I haven’t been fulfilling these basic needs simply because I can’t. I’ve found that it’s nearly impossible to maintain a balance of all that you need when someone else is controlling the show. If there is one thing I’ve learned throughout my experience in France, it is this: being an exchange student tests your ability to adapt. There is no time for yourself, no time for uninterrupted self development (like reading, writing, etc.), unpredictable diet (the change also can alter your moods/ energy), minimal amount of time to get ready for the day (taking a shower, blow drying hair, etc.), never alone, required to be ready to leave the flat (apartment) in an instant once there is a new sight to be seen, constant switching of environment (because you’re visiting every area, which brings about staying at the family’s relative’s houses), a requirement to be constantly happy and social during all waking hours, and you must turn the other cheek when they begin to talk about how superior their country is to yours or another. Now I’m not saying that all of the french are like that, but the people I’ve encountered have all possessed the same haughty attitude. They like to compare countries as a typical pastime. Basically any comparison that is brought up must end in their country turning out on top, and if not, you won’t hear the end of it until someone finally declares that even with any illogic, they still “win” in the comparison. 

     Now I’m not saying that living this way, with these social habits is wrong, it’s just not my style. I prefer to remain unbiased when discussing things, rather than insult another country simply because my ego couldn’t handle losing something. I also don’t talk or debate for the aspect of wining–I think that’s truly a dead end–I like debating and conversing to spread knowledge, share ideas, and to broaden horizons. I’ve found that’s simply not the case here… Apparently every other country in the world must suck in comparison, or else we must be living in some parallel universe where i don’t know… We’re all viewed as different cultures doing things their own way? Imperfect representations of the imperfection in us all? No country is perfect, no country ever will be. Sure you may have your preference as to which you think is better simply because it aligns with your beliefs and views, but everyone else out there has the same disposition as you to believe that the country they favor is the best. 

Now maybe I’m simply frustrated, and my words are skewed in favor of my own beliefs/ preferences, so I’ll put that part of this post to rest for now.

     Back to what I meant to tell you all though: I may or may not discontinue writing (for my blog) until the end of this trip (which is only 6 days). 

I most likely will try to write, but if I can’t manage to, it’s because I need to wait for inspiration to strike again. 

    Onto another topic real quick, before I end: 

The other day I sat in a closet. Now you may think I’m crazy or at the very least, kinda odd, but let me explain. There wasn’t really anywhere else to be alone, but inside the closet. Honestly, I’m tempted to go back in there today (it’s a great spot to listen to music in my headphones without interruption). I loved it in there, cause it reminded me of when I was a kid. I used to do all kinds of random weird stuff when I was younger, simply because it made me happy. I’d find tiny little spots and I’d sit in them, I’d build forts, etc. I’d find a chair, sit on it backwards, and lay upside down with my legs against the back board. I was absolutely ridiculous, and loving life for the simple odd things it had to offer. 

Thinking back to how I was when I was younger got me thinking about how I want to make sure I don’t lose that part of myself. Sure those things are weird to do as you get older and older, but they’re fun. I’m sure those odd habits are part of the reason why kids seem so happy compared to us. They don’t think about what others will think of them, or if it is weird or not to lay upside down if they feel like it. They don’t bother to change themselves in order to conform to strict social norms. 

Nipple play (aka some weird thoughts…)

By the title you probably instantly pictured boobs. Well for the moment, it’s about pecs. That’s right, male nipples. To be exact: male nipple piercings.They’ve fascinated me for a while, but I never figured out why until just now. For men to have any stimulation to their nipples, whether pleasurable or painful, is kind of taboo. Jewelry in the first place, has mainly been for women. And things such as tongue rings, nipple rings, and belly button rings have been viewed as erotic on women. Now I’m not sure of their purposes all too well, so I’m only guessing on this aspect. As far as tongue rings go, if you don’t instantly picture it involved in using your tongue for something such as I don’t know… A blow job… You’ve probably been living in a cave. Now that I think about it, it could also be useful for trailing a tongue along some nice six pack abs (that is if the metal is cold, cause then it could evoke quite a reaction). Also, maybe it would provide a little extra excitement when kissing. As far as nipple piercings go, I’d guess it’s for the aesthetics, and possibly the sensation received by the giver of nipple play (involving mouth and tongue, possibly a little nibbling). Now for the belly button ring- it’s mainly aesthetics with this one, but could also have the same results as the nipple piercings.

Initially thinking of all of these piercings, I would never imagine a guy would ever desire to have any of them. So far in my life, I’ve never seen a belly button ring on a guy. However, I’ve seen the other two piercings on guys.

There was this one homosexual male, who had a tongue ring- it made a lot of sense. I saw a guy on the beach one time with nipple piercings for the first time, a few years ago. Just recently I saw that perplexing piercing (nipple piercing) on another guy.

Now in general, nipple piercings could be broken down as a symbol of how much pain you can endure, so in a way, that aspect could be viewed as masculine. Then there is the other aspect… It’s on your nipples, the one place all of you guys tend to shy away from, when your girl is pleasuring you. Although, I did watch this one show, that showed a guy getting some nipple play, from a girl, and he seemed to enjoy receiving it (just so you know, this guy didn’t happen to have nipple piercings). My only question really is: do these random buff, macho guys that I see with nipple piercings, also enjoy the nipple play? I mean what is the function for nipple piercings otherwise? I think it may serve as a window to male sexuality, that’s displayed in plain sight. Not necessarily that they are gay, but rather, that they indulge in a kink not explored by many other men.

I don’t necessarily think that if a guy doesn’t get nipple piercings, or is too uncomfortable receiving pleasure there, that he’s wrong in any way for deciding to be that way. On the other hand though, I think these guys who enjoy getting those piercings and feeling the sensations as the receiving end, have discovered a wonderful thing for themselves. As a girl, I know it’s a pleasurable sensation, so I would feel bad if a guy simply refused to receive it because he thought it was a girl thing- all people can find pleasure within this wonderful thing we call nipple play.