Too unfiltered? 

Hello everyone. Recently I’ve noticed that I’ve become a little tactless with my writing and posting. For those of you who dislike the particular blogs I’ve posted on a whim, I appologize. The writing I’ve done lately hasn’t been my best, because my mind is in search of inspiration and focus. At the moment, my thoughts are elsewhere and I’m a little preoccupied with that. If you have enjoyed the unfiltered postings though, there will be more to come, I can tell you that….

Though the title doesn’t allude to anything but that paragraph I wrote above, I’d like to discuss an idea with you all. Is insecurity the root of all evil? Now I know it may sound quite random, but I believe that insecurity causes a great deal of the problems in our interpersonal relations, as well as on a more global scale. Recently I’ve observed many insecure people. I’ve noticed that rather than acknowledging the true problem, they just bask in the glow of insecurity. Then they allow their friends and anyone within arms length to feel this fabulous glow they’re experiencing (I hope you all realize that’s sarcasm). The problem with this is that while we’re so preoccupied about how we aren’t meeting a standard (when someone or something else provides competition or jealousy), or how we posses a certain flaw (typically body image related or pertaining to a personality trait), we are so focussed on ourselves and how miserable we feel, that we project this anger and frustration onto innocent bystanders. We just assume that they know how terrible we have it, and that they’ll immediately adjust and not make the wrong move. Although much to their dismay, we have the special capability of finding frustration within even the smallest things. This is generally because insecurity brings out the defensive side of us all, so words and actions of others become easily misconstrued. You know, it’s quite funny how the more we begin to think about ourselves, the easier it is to make every little thing about us. It’s a pity party for 1, that no one else wants to be around for. Though things aren’t always so simple for those who have to endure an insecure person’s rath. There are just some people you’re forced to be around. Like family members, coworkers, and significant others. The ironic thing is that insecure people are so caught up in their feelings, that they’ll turn things on you. You do one small thing that rubs them the wrong way, and instantly you’re the jerk, you just caused all of the negative energy, and you need to stop being so rude, because they’re perfection. Ok that’s sarcasm… But it generally feels as though this antagonizer can’t see the freaking log in their eye, and can only notice the wood chips they blew on you. This is because they’re in denial. They already feel inadequate, so to add on the fact that they’re also being toxic towards others would just amplify their insecurity. 

I know it’s difficult to admit to affecting others happiness in this way, but those around you deserve to be treated lovingly. If you’re contstanlty a parana ready to rip off someone’s head, people will begin to leave you alone. Also, I just realized that insecurity and selfishness typically go hand in hand… So I’d like to to clonclude that I believe both selfishness and insecurity are the root of many problems within interpersonal relationships. 

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Thoughts 

It’s confusing to feel bliss one moment, then dissatisfaction with life at other points. This feeling surely isn’t a depressive sadness, but it also isn’t something to be ignored. When you feel dissatisfied, something needs to be changed. But what if you don’t want to change things, what if you change your mind and it’s too late, what if things fall through? It’s surely a gamble, but isn’t it worth it? Go for the uncertain option, or the dependable one? This kind of choice can be made simply, if both options happen to be equal. But what if the higher gamble brings the greater prize? Would it be worth risking it all only to fall… That is the question. At the present moment, dissatisfaction may roam through your body, but in the next, what if you just so happen to be content with the safe bet? 

Maybe it’s loneliness and you want to free yourself of the feeling by socializing, but rejection frightens you. Maybe it’s a choice one is making between two lovers. Perhaps, it’s between the career path you take in life. Or even between following a religion or removing yourself from that path. 
All of those things can be a gamble, and the cards lie in your hands. Do you risk it all, or quit before you lose everything? 
I don’t think it can necessarily be looked at as a black and white decision, because there’s always more to a story. There may be particular ties to the safe bet that one needs to undo before they feel ready to risk it all. Maybe they wish to go for the gamble, but the deliberation is requested too early, and they bet safe instead of big?