Some words

Sometimes life happens and you feel yourself get swept away in the tide of everyday activities and interactions. You see the crash and fall of the waves, but sometimes you don’t feel them like you naturally would. Something’s on your mind. Your thoughts can’t help but wander. Where do they wander? Is it to thoughts of a significant other? A new romantic interest? Is it that old flame that still burns and singes your soul? Is it wandering to thoughts of finding that thing called love that everyone talks so fondly about? They wander everywhere. Currently stuck on the beautiful idea of a twin flame. “What is a twin flame?” It is a concept that can give you hope or break you down entirely. To those who haven’t found a remarkable spark with anyone, the idea that a greater connection and love brings happiness to them—also alluding to the fact that they haven’t lost their shot yet. Some have love and lost— sometimes they just so happen to lose their twin flame. How would they lose it if it is an even stronger bond/ connection/ passion than a soulmate, you ask? Well you never truly lose it— it becomes unavailable, unattainable, too difficult to hold onto. Not every lost twin flame is gone forever, but sometimes it appears that way. It all comes down to the two individuals who share that connection. Are you stubborn? Are you foolish enough to let your twin flame walk even farther out of your life while you’re settling for a lesser passion? Are you scared? Are you too blind to see that you’re losing them day by day? Are you too heartbroken to give it another shot? If so, you might just lose them. It is a little difficult to continue to try when the odds are against you. History is made, and sometimes bridges are burned. Sometimes those pained goodbyes are final. It’s not because neither of you feel anything for each other anymore— you might feel everything, but you’ll never tell…

The other day I watched a movie that portrayed this kind of connection. They broke up because it was necessary, not because the love had faded. It never faded, even after 20 years of being apart. They still thought of one another after all of that time had passed. When they saw each other after all of those years, the connection, the passion, the yearning for one another still remained. It’s not the conversations they had, or the things that they shared in common, or the things they knew about one another. It was the need to be next to one another, with no clear reason. It is the desire to see and talk to that soul, because it is the only one yours finds effortless comfort with. They craved each other’s bodies– not because their bodies were perfectly toned and proportioned, but because that body belonged to the soul they couldn’t bare to live without.

Of course the movie didn’t end well…. I just so happened to conveniently remember towards the end, that the writer of the story is notorious for creating sad movies involving deaths to induce tears and despair in the viewer.

Love

You find yourself more in love than you ever thought possible. There she lays, in your arms, perfect in every way. Every fiber of your being reacts in an instant to the reception of this precious little gift. She is your baby girl. You immediately acknowledge how fragile this little human is. In that moment, you vow to yourself right then and there, that you will do all you can to ensure that she is treated with the utmost care. She is a reflection of the love shared the night she was created. She is the product of the 9 months of cautious nurture and care of the beautiful womb that carried her. You felt this gorgeous baby’s kicks at night as your wife lay fast asleep. You anticipated her arrival, picturing how this new presence would change your entire world. What would this little bundle of joy look like? Smell like? Sound like? Interact like? Would she have you smile? Your eyes? Would you see a glimpse of yourself in her as her eyes sparkled with glee each time she saw your face reappear in a simple game of peek-a-boo? Many questions flooded your mind at night. Now everything has stilled, and the only question you have is right in front of you: “how will you let this precious child know everyday, without a doubt in her mind, that her daddy loves her?”

Days, weeks, months, years go by, and you see her grow up. She is everything you could have wished for and more. It’s not exactly what she’s done, or said, but in a way, it’s all of that. It’s the perfect imperfection of this little girl, the glimpses of you and your wife in this unique individual. Her smile radiates through the room. She has your blue eyes, she has your wife’s chestnut hair. When she wants something, she imitates your old puppy dog eyes that you used to use on your own parents– sometimes even on your wife as well (in a joking manner). She has an infectious giggle that brings a smile to your face every time you hear it.

One day she comes home from high school, and she tells you she met a boy. The smile on her face gives you the impression that this boy isn’t all that bad for her. You give her a light-hearted mock interrogation anyway, and ask her “does he make you happy?” “does he treat you right?” “is there really a guy out there perfect enough for my little girl?” Then you mention one last thing: “make sure that if he ever treats you any less than you deserve, you walk away, because you’re the most precious gift anyone ever could receive and he sure as hell better know that.” That night, thoughts race through your mind. You remember her first words, the tears you kissed away when she fell down and scraped her knee for the first time, the pride you had when she finally learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, the times you’d come in the kitchen and find her and your wife baking cookies, her first day of school. It all felt like it was just yesterday. Now she’s going on her first date. Your little girl has acknowledged the opposite sex in a new way. She no longer sees these boys as friends anymore. There is the potential that one of these days, she may even kiss one of these boys. That thought is tough to handle. This is your baby, the one you held in your arms. You face the fact that your little girl is now a sexual being, but with that comes primal intentions. How do you know this young boy will treat your daughter right, when all of his urges arise from such an primal place. Will he be able to control himself? On the other hand… will your little girl want him to control himself? A first kiss is enough to think about, but then there is so much more that could follow. Your sweet little baby’s body is seen as a sexual object now. Guys want to touch her and she wants to touch them too. Your darling’s sweet little hands and mouth may go places that would make you cringe. Picturing these things makes you sick. She’s your baby. The little girl that is only meant to be held by your loving, fatherly hands. It was only days ago that she was too small, to young, to walk on her own. So you held her in your arms for hours, staring at that spectacular little face. Your love for her was unconditional from the start, and will remain so until the end. You think of how the guys she will encounter won’t see her in the same light you have. Their love for her, if even love, won’t be unconditional for sure. Some will expect things of her. Some things you don’t even want to think about. The thoughts are put on pause, because you realize you’ll go crazy if you continue to let them ruminate.

So more days, weeks, months, years go by. Your little girl is officially a sexual being now (not that she wasn’t in the first place). There are many things that have happened that she hasn’t told you. She’s had her first kiss, she has experienced much more than that…, and she has gone through heartbreak. Guys have treated her with disrespect– she walked away just like you told her to— though sometimes she didn’t acknowledge it soon enough. The first boy to see your little angel’s unclothed, uncovered, innocent, bare body, trivialized it by jerking off to porn the following night. That boy that gave her her first kiss also gave her her first heartbreak when he cheated on her with a sexy cheerleader while he was intoxicated at a high school party. She dated the nice guys, the good guys, the losers, the jerks, the jocks. She also found the love of her life along the way, who treats her well, loves her in every way possible, and brings out the best in her every day. He’s the boy she’s bringing to thanksgiving when she comes home during the break. Little do you know, he’s the one. He encapsulates everything you could have ever wished for in a man that would hold your daughters heart.

Now don’t feel too relieved, there was another who almost won her heart before she fell for your new potential son-in-law. With this other man, things appeared to be perfectly fine. He was successful and had a fairly good income. He knew that this beautiful girl was too good for him. Yet when a problem would arise, he would blame her, he’d go into denial and would never apologize for his actions. Sometimes he would apologize— but only when it benefited him. If they would have married, he would have barked the words “get out of MY house” when he was frustrated. He would say things to tear her down, not build her up. Any accomplishment of hers would be overlooked. When enraged, he’d bring fear into your little girl’s heart. She would run to the closest room and lock herself inside until he had calmed down. He’s the one who would have stormed out of the house at  2 am in the morning, slamming the door behind him, screeching the car tires as he peeled out of the drive way. He would have been the one to bring doubt, fear, and sadness to your little girl’s heart those nights, making her ask why she deserved this treatment.

No one “deserves” to be treated that way. In this alternate ending, your little girl just found herself in a bad situation. Could you have imagined though, the heartache you would have felt for your little girl if it had gone that way? Wouldn’t you have wanted to walk straight up to that evil man and look him right in the eye and tell him off? Tell him he doesn’t deserve someone as amazing and precious as your little girl?

What if I told you there is a simple way to make sure that this never happens to your daughter/ future daughter? No one would ever break the heart of your bundle of joy, and it involves only one simple task: Treat everyone else’s baby girls with care. That woman you slept with tonight, that girl you’ve been planning to bang, the girl you cheated on when you were younger, the girl you only intend to sleep with. All of them are someone’s baby girl. Treat them as so. If not, how would you ever expect someone else to treat your’s with the utmost care?

Muah ;* 

I just finished watching my guilty pleasure… “The bachelorette,” for the night, and I can truly say I wasn’t disappointed. It provided me with the entertainment of watching the drama, and classic, cheesy, cliché moves unfold. Though there were a few things that I particularly liked about this episode, that I haven’t seen in many other seasons of the show. Though kaitlyn has kissed nearly every guy on the show, almost all of these kisses have topped the past season’s kisses for the most adorable approach. One guy ended up having to go to the hospital (there was a boxing date… Enough said), but on his way back to the house, to rest, he asked if he could stop by where the group date was occurring, so he could see her for a few minutes. They were standing outside on the sidewalk, by the street, at night, and he was rambling. By the look in her eyes, you could tell she was hoping for him to kiss her. Though it wasn’t a super romantic set up for a first kiss to most, it was simple and perfect. But onto my favorite first kiss she’s had on the season… So on a different group date, all of the guys and her are hanging out, and this one guy takes her away (for short, I’ll call him Kentucky). He brings her to a cute little tucked away spot of the building. Then, without even saying a word, he brings his hand to her face, and pulls her in for a passionate kiss. This kiss wasn’t your typical first kiss… This was one that back in simpler times, she would have gone home and jumped on her bed squealing with joy about how amazing and intense it was. Now some of you may ask “how do you know she liked at much as you think?” Well I don’t know about you, but this is a pretty big sign that someone liked kissing you: the two of you part, and then they initiate another kiss seconds later, because they want more. There’s something about the bachelorette that always makes me want to kiss someone, so I decided I’m going to continue with this topic for the rest of the post.

Since I’ve already told you about my very first, first kiss, I’ve decided that instead of talking about first kisses I have had, I’ll just describe a few scenarios that would be perfect for my future first kisses to come. Perhaps you could use one of these scenarios for your next first kiss.

1. This first scenario includes walking around just hanging out, and then some way or another, whether trigged by the guy trying to display his strength, or the girl challenging him to, he ends up picking her up. Now don’t get confused, I’m not talked about piggy back rides, or bridal style, I’m talking about when he picks you up, you wrap your legs around him, and he effortlessly cradles his hands below your butt to hold you up. There is also another variation, where instead of being modest about it, the guy places his hands directly on your butt (it depends on how forward he wants to be with it). In this position, your faces are so close, that the tension will possibly cause him to become aroused… That would make the position even better, honestly…. Then of course, the first kiss would unfold from there.

2. “Listen to this.” I don’t know why it’s never been done, but hopefully some day, someone will do this. One of you is listening to music and headphones while you’re hanging out with one another. The setting would most likely be a couch or bed… The one with the headphones in offers an earbud to the other, and they begin to listen to a really good song (most likely some form of mood music. The songs will differ for each individual couple). As they’re getting into the song, the begin to make eye contact, with the exception of when their eyes gaze down at each other’s lips. Both lean in, and begin to passionately kiss one another. The guy grabs the hips of the girl, and lifts her onto his lap, to straddle him. They make out in this position, while continuing to listen to the song. 

At the moment, those are the two scenarios I would personally enjoy for a first kiss. If any of you have any ideas for a first kiss scenario, I’d love to hear them in the comments. 

Tired thoughts 

I’m very exhausted at the moment, but I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep anytime soon, due to my current thoughts. These thoughts go a little like this.Why do I have to crush on guys…. Why can’t I just turn that part of my mind off, and just allow them to crush on me, it would be so much simpler. There wouldn’t be the disappointment you feel when they don’t give you signals, or don’t seem to give any reciprocation of interest in getting to know you. I wouldn’t have to think about staying purely platonic around all guys, but the one I like. But alas, it’s not possible to shut these crush feelings off… They suck, but both genders are burdened with them. Although I’m beginning to question whether the crush feelings manifest the same way when it comes to each gender. 

Do guys ever feel disappointed when their crush doesn’t text back? Or they’re not seeming to give any apparent signals? 

Though I believe getting rid of a feeling as common as crushing is nearly impossible, I’m going to attempt to. I’m over it… It’s not fun. I’m not going to necessarily get rid of my crush, I’m just not going to actively put myself out there to be let down. I’ll still add to conversation, be witty, be friendly, be flirty, and all of that fun stuff, but I’m not going to put any expectations on any interaction with the person I like. 

I’m going to keep doing what I do, and living life, and if along the way, that attracts them, great. If not, I’m not going to fret about it. I have my entire life to meet sexy guys that I vibe with, this just happens to be a part of my life where I’m kind of hung up on the thought of one in particular. 

If it doesn’t lead to anything it won’t matter, he just won’t know what he missed. Yes it’s a cocky thing to say… But I honestly believe I make a pretty good girlfriend (That title for lack of a better word). I enjoy pleasing my partner, as much as I enjoy it when it’s reciprocated. I have a genuine interest in getting to know what comprises each person I get involved with. Who is this amazing individual—in mind, body, and spirit. I try my best to make them feel cherished and special, because they are special to me. These are simply the basics that come to mind at the moment, but my mind is too fogged to remember the rest. 

Right now as I’m writing this, all I can focus on is an ideal. Particular names aren’t standing out to me, because I have yet to meet another person that fits my “ideal.” I’m laying on my bed and all I wish is that I had a sexy guy to come nuzzle into me, and take me away from my writing for some passionate kissing instead. As the kissing intensifies, maybe even trailing kisses down my neck, possibly stopping along the way to leave a mark to remind me “where I belong” (song reference). 

Earlier today I reminisced of past infatuations and relationships. I thought about the reasons why I was drawn to these guys in the first place. I’m not sure if all of you have guessed yet, but lately I’ve found myself hit on by guys, but not interested, and then on the other hand I’ve found myself having an unrequited crush. When I got involved with all of my past boyfriends, the interest was always mutual instantly…

However, it did take them initiating things for me to notice them, but once I noticed them, I felt the same connection.

There is one particular thing that may or may not be related to this whole blog post, that I’d like to talk about. There is nothing sexier to me than when a guy senses my interest, and then actively shows interest (I reciprocate of course). This direct approach is a huge turn on, and it gives me the sense that this guy knows exactly what he wants, and he’s not going to sit around waiting for an in. Instead, he’s going to go for what he wants, at the first opportunity he gets. 

Now many of you may all be thinking “yeah… that approach is basically screaming ‘he wants to have sex with you'”. That is slightly true, but I don’t think you ever meet someone who’s interested in you, that hasn’t at least thought of that possibility. I’ve met guys who were super passive in their approach, with the same amount of lust as the ones who were super direct. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer the direct guy over the passive guy any day. When you’re direct, you appear more confident and interested, than if you were to take a passive approach to the situation. 

You just don’t understand

I bet many people mentally recite this phrase probably a million times each day. We all believe no one understands us. That they just wouldn’t understand. Sometimes though, I feel as if we block the chance of actually truly giving them the possibility to understand us. No body knows everything, so maybe the reason they don’t understand, is because you haven’t provided them with the exact knowledge of your situation to truly get how you’re feeling.
I think that phrase to myself as I am informing my best friend about my love life recently. What I’m not always realizing though, is that there are days that pass that I go through things pertaining to my love dynamics, that she doesn’t see. I also may not remember every detail of it when it comes time to tell her about it all.
There is also this guy that I’ve been talking to, I think I mentioned him before, but if I haven’t, here is his nickname Mr. NGM. It stands for Mr. Nice Guy (and the first initial of his name). Now what he is not understanding, is why I want an ex back. If he knew the entire story of the relationship, and knew how the guy and I were together, maybe it would help him comprehend why I feel that way.
But now readers, it is time I help you guys understand the situation I’ve been going through the past few days. So for those of you who haven’t read my previous blog posts, I’ll explain. First I had a 3 month relationship with Mufasa B., then I broke up with him because we didn’t talk as much as I would like (very lame reason to break up.. I know). Then OT asked me out the day after I broke up with Mufasa B. OT and I had a 5 month relationship, but he turned out to be an emotionless jerk… So then, he broke up with me, and 2 ish days later my sister’s boyfriend set me up with his friend who had wanted to date me for a while, ever since he had met me like a month or so before. He asked me to be his girlfriend the night that I was set up with him. I thought at that time I was ready to move on, so I said yes. It turned out that I dated him for probably 3 days, then I broke up with him, cause I thought I was still hung up on Mufasa B. The next night I thought I was over Mufasa B., so I admitted to Mr. NGM that I still like him (Mr. NGM). So that lasted the evening until around 10-11 at night we were video chatting, and he mentioned my ex, Mufasa B. I never ended up even kissing Mr. NGM. Then emotions that I thought I didn’t feel for Mufasa B., rose up again, so I ended it with Mr. NGM so he wouldn’t become attached, and then I go back to to my ex or something. Because I knew at that moment, if Mufasa B. asked me back, I would have said yes. I still know that, because that is the reason I am explaining all of this to you.
I’ll let you know why I am thinking I am hung up on this ex of mine, Mufasa B. :
• It feels like we never stopped talking, because all the giddiness and butterflies that still attack me when we message.
• I think he was the only guy I ever loved. I think I just lied to myself about OT.
• He was by far the best kisser. Instead of just physically kissing, it seemed as though he kissed with his soul as well.
• Makes me feel nervous in a good way.
• Even though at a time it didn’t seem as though he was giving enough to me (talking, or seeing each other, and such), it never seemed as though the distance ever made it hard for him to still love me.
• He doesn’t go around talking about how girls are good looking strait to my face. I like honesty and all, but it’s not lying in my book, to hold yourself back from voicing those thoughts to your girlfriend…
• We talked the majority of our relationship. Just messaging each other talking about our day or anything else.
• It appears that he operates just like me. When in a relationship or even just liking somebody, and even when you’re in the in between, not official stage yet kind of place. You don’t go doing stuff or flirting with other people, because you know how you would feel if they do the same. So basically an instinctual monogamous/ unhypocritical way of thinking.
• He actually will talk about making out, and the works, without getting all weird. There are some guys you can tell, that you want to make out with them, but the conversation doesn’t go farther than that. But when someone is comfortable and willing enough to say what turns them on the most, and ask you what would turn you on the most, that is a turn on in it’s own!!
• And he’s also all the generics you usually tell people about, about the guy you like. He’s sweet, funny, caring, and smart.

I think it’s a very big possibility that he and I will rekindle our old flame. But we’ll just all have to wait and see what happens when I elaborate in my future blog posts.

Goodnight my readers :).

The story of my first kiss

The story starts like any other first kiss, we tried to find a place to be alone so that it wouldn’t be awkward or humiliating for me (because I’m pretty sure he had had his first kiss before). Or awkward and uncomfortable for anyone around who happened to see.
We found a room with no one in it, it had bookshelves formed into cubby holes, some mops, brooms, and a dust pan. We just walked around in the empty room together for a while and discussed whether or not I wanted to do it (because I was nervous). I told him that I wanted to, but I didn’t know. He simply replied “oh,” in an understanding non-pressuring tone. We just walked around some more and made little comments about the room.
Then he brought up showing me his abs, because I had asked to see them one time while we were messaging. The options he presented were: shirt completely off, or to just pull up his shirt a little bit. I decided on option number 1. Once he took off his shirt I couldn’t help but stare at his abs. So I gave myself a little while to ogle at them, but then quickly averted my eyes from them, and looked in his eyes. He looked at me looking a little nervous, as he posed the idea of whether I wanted to kiss him or not. I told him yet again, that I felt like I may be to nervous do it that night. He took me into a hug and just held me against him. After a while he said “I love you,” and I replied “I love you too,” that was the first time we had said it in person to each other, other than that we had only said it in text. While we were embraced I told him I wanted to kiss him and that I was so nervous. Then he said something that made me shift my face up to look at his lips for a little. We heard kids in the other room and I repeated what one of them said, then mufasa B said “what?” and then I replied “one of the kids said it haha.” While we were hugging, I felt him move his face a bit too. Then he also pointed out that I was shaking, which I hadn’t realized myself. I guess it was because I was nervous about whether or not I could kiss well.
A few minutes must had gone by while we were hugging, by then. I started to feel his hands slowly moving their way down my back inching close and closer to my butt. I said “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” when his hands had only made their way to a little below the waistline of my spandex workout pants. His hands retracted a bit and he froze, as he was about to say “what?” I quickly cut him off and explained my killing of the mood “I have a pad on, so it would probably feel weird if you accidentally touched it. I mean you can if you want to, but it may feel weird.” He continued on slowly, with sliding his hands down as he said “it doesn’t matter. As long as your fine with it?” he stopped a little as he said the last part, but then I confirmed that he could go on “yeah, I’m fine with it.” When both of his hands both had made their to my butt, nearly covering it with their size, he started a sort of kneading motion with his hands that felt great. “is this ok?” he asked. “yup” I replied.
During each knead he pulled our pelvises closer and closer together, and I tightened my arms around him to give him the message that I wanted to be closer I just was a little nervous and wasn’t thinking of what I could do with my hands.
I think once he found a rhythm with the kneading and pulling me closer he got a little more comfortable with the idea of kissing me, because he to was in fact, nervous as well. So when I accidentally gave the opportunity, he took it. I had shifted my head up to look at his lips again, and he swooped in with his lips before I could even think twice about it. It was good that he acted on instinct, because that was just the kind of push I needed to stop thinking about it and just dive in. His lips were full and smooth and had a completely unexpected quality to them. They felt soft, plump, and moist. We locked lips for about three to five presses before I started feeling his mouth part and his tongue trying to make its way into my mouth. I clumsily pulled my face back and said “I don’t know how to use tongue,” then he replied something along the lines of “it doesn’t matter,” “I don’t really either,” or something else. He brought his mouth to mine just seconds after, most likely knowing I still wasn’t daring enough to restart for the two of us. We locked lips again and I just went for it with the tongue part, which he didn’t reject, so it must have been good enough haha.
“Do u want to go over into the corner and sit?” he asked when we parted from our second kiss. “sure” I said with a grin on my face as I slightly bit my lip. He sat down against the wall. Then I looked at him trying to read if I was going to position myself the way he was hoping for. I just wung it and decided to straddle his lap. I inched my self farther and farther up his waist so that we were as close as possible. “So this is how it feels to be the tall one… Haha” I said, then he replied with “yeah haha,” before placing his lips on mine once again. I tilted my head to the right and draped my wrists around his neck. That is when we went into full swing with the tongue and I started to figure it out a bit. I mainly just moved my tongue around in his mouth and tried to play with his tongue a bit, too. Throughout the kiss I heard him moan a few times, and with that cue I would kiss him a little more intensely. During the kissing he put his hands back to my butt and started kneading them again. But then his hands slowly were making their way up my sides, under my shirt. He didn’t move his hands past the no-go zone before he said “just tell me when I should stop,” referring to how far his hands could go. I thought to myself about it and decided that even though I’d be fine with as far as he wanted to go with his hands, that I was going to put restrictions on it, since it was in fact a first kiss with someone I didn’t know extremely well. I trusted him to go as far with his hands as he wanted, but I didn’t want to come across as to easy, neither did I want to even be easy. So I said “when you feel fabric, just stop…” knowing that he would get my drift. I was wearing a black sports bra under a sort of mesh kind of white see through long sleeved shirt. So when I said fabric I meant when he got to the bottom of my sports bra, that he wasn’t to go any further. With that we got back to kissing and his hands stayed in the areas I had allowed, but they defiantly weren’t the most inoccent of areas. I started to realize that when his hands made their way to a little more than just my butt, down there, because I could in fact still feel it his hands in that area, even though I had a pad on. Everything felt nice to me though, so I didn’t reject it, because he didn’t go all that far with it. As we kept making out I kept nudging my body farther and farther up his waist to get closer to him. Then I felt his legs bend in to bring me closer. All the while, he still had his shirt off. Throughout the kisses there were a few moments where I would lean back and look around the corner if we thought we heard someone coming in the room. After one kiss in particular, I remember we put our foreheads against each other’s and I stared down into his eyes. When he looked up to me his eyes looked all pure, and innocent, and so genuine, that I couldn’t help but melt a little inside. Another moment we parted, I remember him moving his face closer to my chest, and slightly pressing his face into it.
I don’t remember when, but during one of those moments when I looked back around the corner, we both stood up. Then when we went back into the corner area and started kissing again. Suddenly out of nowhere he seemingly effortlessly picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He leaned his back against the wall and started sliding us back down to our original position. Soon we realized once we had made it down to the floor, that my knees were bent into his arm pits, so I grabbed both of my legs and bent them under me, on either side, back into the original position. Then we got back to kissing. A little bit more happened, but I can’t quite remember it all.

And that my dear readers is the story of my first kiss haha. Have a good night everyone :p.

Monogamy

All of my thoughts and points I make in this post are not to judge those of you are into/ ok with these types of relationships. If you’ve cheated in the past or have cheated in the present, I don’t want you to take this as a jab at the way you lived and choose to live your life. This post is just me explaining my point of view on the subject of monogamy and why I prefer it.

I don’t know why, but I’ve never liked the thought of dating many people, and then choosing my favorite. I’m not saying that having a selection of various guys to choose from and kiss, before making my decision, doesn’t sound nice. What doesn’t appeal to me though, is that while I would get to kiss whomever I want, they would also kiss who ever they wanted as well. Naturally, I am also just not a person who could kiss multiple people during the same week, month, or whatever time period it may be, with a clear conscience.  Also, you may get into a relationship with someone while they still feel something for someone they were just casually dating. I condone chatting around, and flirting around with multiple people as a form of ‘dating’, but sleeping around and kissing multiple people is just not something I agree with. In addition to my points above, is that having multiple romantic interests is germ city if you decide to go kiss and sleep with all of them. Kissing many people could give you: mono, aids (can be passed through cuts in the mouth), sicknesses/ colds, and other stuff I cant remember at this moment. Sleeping around could give you: one word…. everything.. Now, I’m not going to tell anyone else not to participate in the thicker (hard to get out of sticky situations pertaining to feelings) form of dating.

I watched this show one time ,where this girl was dating this man for a few weeks. During those weeks, she had naturally assumed that they were ‘going steady’.They had gone out on dinner dates, shared time at her place, shared mutual satisfaction at her place (sex), along with a couple other things. Come to find out, she discovers either through meeting another woman, or seeing another message from a woman that he was dating, that there was another woman, in addition to her. Shortly after her discovery, she confronts him. He tells her that he’s dating multiple woman, other than the one other woman, and her. All I could think was “that douche……“. I know that they hadn’t officially declared the status of their relationship, but they had been dating for 1-6 months (I’m not sure the exact length). Just think about it this way though…. teenagers now make sure they clarify with someone who asks them to be their boyfriend or girlfriend, if they mean ‘exclusively’. 

Now onto Monogamy in official relationships!!! 😀 …..i. e. cheating, open relationships, and the whole shebang!

For the rest of my life, I will never personally get into an open relationship, or stay with someone who serially cheats on me (maybe I wont even give them a second chance after just once..). When I think about being in a relationship and in love, I see myself only desiring my partner, and wanting to give only them my love. I feel that if love is given out to every person you are in contact with, equally, you will never really find a true love. If a kid made his mom a special picture and then as a way of showing her gratitude, she hugged him. Then proceeded to hug all of her other children directly after she hugged her little boy. He wouldn’t see that as a way she appreciated his gift, he would think it was as if there was never even a gift he had given. That’s the way I feel like it would be for someone to tell their partner that they truly love them (because they have that fictitious ‘gift’ they gave, which in this case is their unique love). Then go on to tell their partner they want to share the love and happiness they feel towards their partner to a ton of other people too. There is only so much love we can give, until all of  the recipients start to feel gypped. Our love running thin, is close in contrast to a mother with many, many children. She wont have much time to give to each one what they desire, because she needs to give that love to the rest of her children she loves.

Onto cheating….. why do people do it? Just why…..?!?! The main causes of cheating come from a deficit in the relationship, in compatibility (one of them wants an open relationship, so forcefully creates the situation for them self), or thrill of having many people desiring them, etc. It’s quite a selfish act…. it’s self indulgent, lack of thought for your partners feelings, and using another person to fill whatever void you may have. If you cheat because of a deficit in your relationship, don’t go searching for total fulfillment in two parts (two different women, or men). Respect your partner and end your relationship. Then, find complete fulfillment, with just one partner. Now, if you cheat conscientiously and then tell your partner you’re sorry and want another chance, you should keep in mind that if you truly wanted to keep your partner in the first place, you wouldn’t have done anything to mess with your relationship.

Now that you have fully read this, I would like to remind you of this, still no judging! :p. Just thought I’d share my perspective. I watched a video today that touched on this topic a bit, so it made me think to write a post of my own about it.

Adiós fellow bloggers! 🙂