Some words

Sometimes life happens and you feel yourself get swept away in the tide of everyday activities and interactions. You see the crash and fall of the waves, but sometimes you don’t feel them like you naturally would. Something’s on your mind. Your thoughts can’t help but wander. Where do they wander? Is it to thoughts of a significant other? A new romantic interest? Is it that old flame that still burns and singes your soul? Is it wandering to thoughts of finding that thing called love that everyone talks so fondly about? They wander everywhere. Currently stuck on the beautiful idea of a twin flame. “What is a twin flame?” It is a concept that can give you hope or break you down entirely. To those who haven’t found a remarkable spark with anyone, the idea that a greater connection and love brings happiness to them—also alluding to the fact that they haven’t lost their shot yet. Some have love and lost— sometimes they just so happen to lose their twin flame. How would they lose it if it is an even stronger bond/ connection/ passion than a soulmate, you ask? Well you never truly lose it— it becomes unavailable, unattainable, too difficult to hold onto. Not every lost twin flame is gone forever, but sometimes it appears that way. It all comes down to the two individuals who share that connection. Are you stubborn? Are you foolish enough to let your twin flame walk even farther out of your life while you’re settling for a lesser passion? Are you scared? Are you too blind to see that you’re losing them day by day? Are you too heartbroken to give it another shot? If so, you might just lose them. It is a little difficult to continue to try when the odds are against you. History is made, and sometimes bridges are burned. Sometimes those pained goodbyes are final. It’s not because neither of you feel anything for each other anymore— you might feel everything, but you’ll never tell…

The other day I watched a movie that portrayed this kind of connection. They broke up because it was necessary, not because the love had faded. It never faded, even after 20 years of being apart. They still thought of one another after all of that time had passed. When they saw each other after all of those years, the connection, the passion, the yearning for one another still remained. It’s not the conversations they had, or the things that they shared in common, or the things they knew about one another. It was the need to be next to one another, with no clear reason. It is the desire to see and talk to that soul, because it is the only one yours finds effortless comfort with. They craved each other’s bodies– not because their bodies were perfectly toned and proportioned, but because that body belonged to the soul they couldn’t bare to live without.

Of course the movie didn’t end well…. I just so happened to conveniently remember towards the end, that the writer of the story is notorious for creating sad movies involving deaths to induce tears and despair in the viewer.

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Love

You find yourself more in love than you ever thought possible. There she lays, in your arms, perfect in every way. Every fiber of your being reacts in an instant to the reception of this precious little gift. She is your baby girl. You immediately acknowledge how fragile this little human is. In that moment, you vow to yourself right then and there, that you will do all you can to ensure that she is treated with the utmost care. She is a reflection of the love shared the night she was created. She is the product of the 9 months of cautious nurture and care of the beautiful womb that carried her. You felt this gorgeous baby’s kicks at night as your wife lay fast asleep. You anticipated her arrival, picturing how this new presence would change your entire world. What would this little bundle of joy look like? Smell like? Sound like? Interact like? Would she have you smile? Your eyes? Would you see a glimpse of yourself in her as her eyes sparkled with glee each time she saw your face reappear in a simple game of peek-a-boo? Many questions flooded your mind at night. Now everything has stilled, and the only question you have is right in front of you: “how will you let this precious child know everyday, without a doubt in her mind, that her daddy loves her?”

Days, weeks, months, years go by, and you see her grow up. She is everything you could have wished for and more. It’s not exactly what she’s done, or said, but in a way, it’s all of that. It’s the perfect imperfection of this little girl, the glimpses of you and your wife in this unique individual. Her smile radiates through the room. She has your blue eyes, she has your wife’s chestnut hair. When she wants something, she imitates your old puppy dog eyes that you used to use on your own parents– sometimes even on your wife as well (in a joking manner). She has an infectious giggle that brings a smile to your face every time you hear it.

One day she comes home from high school, and she tells you she met a boy. The smile on her face gives you the impression that this boy isn’t all that bad for her. You give her a light-hearted mock interrogation anyway, and ask her “does he make you happy?” “does he treat you right?” “is there really a guy out there perfect enough for my little girl?” Then you mention one last thing: “make sure that if he ever treats you any less than you deserve, you walk away, because you’re the most precious gift anyone ever could receive and he sure as hell better know that.” That night, thoughts race through your mind. You remember her first words, the tears you kissed away when she fell down and scraped her knee for the first time, the pride you had when she finally learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, the times you’d come in the kitchen and find her and your wife baking cookies, her first day of school. It all felt like it was just yesterday. Now she’s going on her first date. Your little girl has acknowledged the opposite sex in a new way. She no longer sees these boys as friends anymore. There is the potential that one of these days, she may even kiss one of these boys. That thought is tough to handle. This is your baby, the one you held in your arms. You face the fact that your little girl is now a sexual being, but with that comes primal intentions. How do you know this young boy will treat your daughter right, when all of his urges arise from such an primal place. Will he be able to control himself? On the other hand… will your little girl want him to control himself? A first kiss is enough to think about, but then there is so much more that could follow. Your sweet little baby’s body is seen as a sexual object now. Guys want to touch her and she wants to touch them too. Your darling’s sweet little hands and mouth may go places that would make you cringe. Picturing these things makes you sick. She’s your baby. The little girl that is only meant to be held by your loving, fatherly hands. It was only days ago that she was too small, to young, to walk on her own. So you held her in your arms for hours, staring at that spectacular little face. Your love for her was unconditional from the start, and will remain so until the end. You think of how the guys she will encounter won’t see her in the same light you have. Their love for her, if even love, won’t be unconditional for sure. Some will expect things of her. Some things you don’t even want to think about. The thoughts are put on pause, because you realize you’ll go crazy if you continue to let them ruminate.

So more days, weeks, months, years go by. Your little girl is officially a sexual being now (not that she wasn’t in the first place). There are many things that have happened that she hasn’t told you. She’s had her first kiss, she has experienced much more than that…, and she has gone through heartbreak. Guys have treated her with disrespect– she walked away just like you told her to— though sometimes she didn’t acknowledge it soon enough. The first boy to see your little angel’s unclothed, uncovered, innocent, bare body, trivialized it by jerking off to porn the following night. That boy that gave her her first kiss also gave her her first heartbreak when he cheated on her with a sexy cheerleader while he was intoxicated at a high school party. She dated the nice guys, the good guys, the losers, the jerks, the jocks. She also found the love of her life along the way, who treats her well, loves her in every way possible, and brings out the best in her every day. He’s the boy she’s bringing to thanksgiving when she comes home during the break. Little do you know, he’s the one. He encapsulates everything you could have ever wished for in a man that would hold your daughters heart.

Now don’t feel too relieved, there was another who almost won her heart before she fell for your new potential son-in-law. With this other man, things appeared to be perfectly fine. He was successful and had a fairly good income. He knew that this beautiful girl was too good for him. Yet when a problem would arise, he would blame her, he’d go into denial and would never apologize for his actions. Sometimes he would apologize— but only when it benefited him. If they would have married, he would have barked the words “get out of MY house” when he was frustrated. He would say things to tear her down, not build her up. Any accomplishment of hers would be overlooked. When enraged, he’d bring fear into your little girl’s heart. She would run to the closest room and lock herself inside until he had calmed down. He’s the one who would have stormed out of the house at  2 am in the morning, slamming the door behind him, screeching the car tires as he peeled out of the drive way. He would have been the one to bring doubt, fear, and sadness to your little girl’s heart those nights, making her ask why she deserved this treatment.

No one “deserves” to be treated that way. In this alternate ending, your little girl just found herself in a bad situation. Could you have imagined though, the heartache you would have felt for your little girl if it had gone that way? Wouldn’t you have wanted to walk straight up to that evil man and look him right in the eye and tell him off? Tell him he doesn’t deserve someone as amazing and precious as your little girl?

What if I told you there is a simple way to make sure that this never happens to your daughter/ future daughter? No one would ever break the heart of your bundle of joy, and it involves only one simple task: Treat everyone else’s baby girls with care. That woman you slept with tonight, that girl you’ve been planning to bang, the girl you cheated on when you were younger, the girl you only intend to sleep with. All of them are someone’s baby girl. Treat them as so. If not, how would you ever expect someone else to treat your’s with the utmost care?

#4. “If I were a guy”: don’t be a fool on social media

#4. “If I were a guy”: don’t be a fool on social media.
Many times I have been in the process of getting to know a guy, and he’ll post something that completely turns me in the opposite direction.
What guys have done right in this situation:
• kept their emotions to themselves and didn’t post their rage.
• didn’t put pictures of them looking high.
• didn’t subscribe to pages that consist of naked, exposed bodies.
• didn’t share anything that they wouldn’t want their girlfriend to replicate for social media (e. g. Twerking videos, slutty dancing videos, pictures in their bras and thongs, naked pictures, etc.

If I was a guy trying to get the girl I like to go on a date with me, here’s what I wouldn’t do:
•Share inappropriate videos
•Like pictures of naked people
•Post about something that really made me mad
•Post a status with terrible punctuation and grammar

#3 “if I were a guy”: what personal space?

#3 “if I were a guy”: what personal space?
I don’t know for you guys, but one of my biggest inhibitors is no physical contact. When I can’t even playfully nudge someone, or they can’t touch me without them getting awkward about it, it shows me that it may not work out. When I can playfully nudge someone it makes me feel more at ease and comfortable with the guy I’m talking to. If you never gradually break the touch barrier, you may forever remain in a personal space distance from each other.
Things guys have done right:
Initiated hugs after the first interaction (instantly setting up hugging goodbye as a norm between the two of us).
Held my hand.
Put their arm around me.

Things I would do if I was a guy with no clue how to subtly break that touch barrier:
• Sometimes a formal handshake as you first meet each other and introduce yourselves could be the first step. I would initiate the hand shake as the guy, but grasp their hand in a firm but gentle way you could imagine in some kind of old fashion princess movie. (Like the princess diaries). Maybe even a kiss on the hand if your that quirky and bold.
• Throughout the conversation if they say something, maybe play pretend that your offended or that that was mean of them to say (possibly just shocking) and use this as an excuse to tap/ gently slap their arm or playfully nudge them.
• If they have any soft clothes on, feel the material and comment on it.
• If they have a beautiful or cool piece of jewelry touch it and comment on it. (If they are wearing earrings, don’t touch studs though, focus on only touching dangly earrings. Unless the studs have a unique texture to them).
• If their hair looks really soft that day, say exactly that, and run one hand through a bit of it.
• hug goodbye after the first time of meetings, maybe a few times after if you’re too nervous.
• if there is a large crowd, use this as an excuse to help guide her through the crowd while also sticking together, by putting your hand on her lower back.

Random thoughts

These are just random thoughts that run through my head. Guys please don’t be offended, cause I may be far off when it comes to guys like you, but in my experience with certain guys, this is what I have come to think about.

I wonder how guys seem to never dwell on past regrets. Letting a lover slip from their hands. They never seem to want that old touch, those old feelings again, to all be theirs once more. Some even seem to give up without a fight. Without ever screaming to the world that she may have been the one and now he sees it, and now he regrets letting it all go. Do you men ever fantasize of the what if’s? What if you tried harder to keep her? What if you showed her that she meant the world to you? What if you had loved her right? That perfect woman slipped through your finger tips into a new and gentle loving man, one who is going to treat her right. He’ll shower her with love and tell her how much he cares for her every day. But the sad part is, it will all be a facade. They’ll never have the lust, the chemistry, the passion, the undying everlasting love that you two had. Though that won’t be apparent to her. All she’ll see is that he expresses the emotion that she had always wished you would. Though they were empty declarations, they still worked because she just wanted to know that she was appreciated by her man. Some may think that running into the arms of a new man who she doesn’t even have the same raw emotion with just because he tells her she’s special, is quite pathetic. But it’s all human nature. No one wants to feel unimportant. We all want to feel of value, especially to the ones that mean everything to us. So sue her for wanting to feel appreciated for once by a man. Not many men seem to know how to love a woman right, but that’s ok. The few that do are a god send, and are fully appreciated by all woman kind. But the saddest part is that they don’t always find the real love, they just seem to make any kind of love last. Being content, yet not blissful is surely a terrible state I’d say. That’s why we fall for the ones we probably shouldn’t fall for. Typically the relationships with the most love are the hardest. Not because it’s healthy and perfect, because they’re surely far from it. But at the point where you know someone may not do anything, may not even put any effort into going to those lengths, just being them is all it takes. They’re your drug, and you’re instantly hooked. You can’t help but love them the way you do. No matter what happens, no matter what length of time, there’s always that eternal flame inside of you that burns bright with love for them. The flame may even cause pain, singeing your insides, but nevertheless, it all comes with the package of love you will always have for them, ready to deliver to their door step when it’s the right time.

Women celebrities these days

Here is the rant I promised you in the last post ;). I’ll repeat the topic for those of you who didn’t read that post. I was going to talk about the dress code and behavior of today’s women in this society. I think I’m actually going to just write about the behavior.
The other day I pulled up a page with lyrics to a song, so I could sing along. Call me weird for doing that, but I am just not a person who feels comfortable awkwardly mumbling once I realized I sang a part of a song, out loud wrong, trying to play it off as humming. But as I was saying about the webpage, off to the side of the page there were advertisements of related videos. One read ‘Rihanna twerking in a Marie Antoinette wig’. Of course curiosity got the best of me and I clicked to see the costume, and to see what rhianna’s personal style of twerking looked like. I immediately turned it off when I started to get uncomfortable watching people dancing almost fully naked, splashing their bare asses against some water to get those liquids flowing for men and that poor puddle of water they contaminated with their rear end. Then you get to the clip of rhinanna with her “classy” jewels covering her otherwise bare body. She proceeds to stand facing towards her ‘thrown’ (I mentally rolled my eyes as I thought wtf??), and she holds on to it as she gyrates her hips towards the poor chair.
I know men get can get turned on by twerking, it’s a primal thing I guess. I just can’t see how women shaking their asses up and down for all of the public to see, makes them somehow feel that that show was in any way specially for them. Could you guys just take an actual look at the video and analyze it a bit more. Women are such attention whores these days, or they’re just doing it because they want you to spend money to get their songs and buy their music videos on iTunes so you have an instant video clip to defer to whenever you feel the urge to ‘toss one off’. Think about if this was your girlfriend, would you really want a girl trying to take money from you, you would see right through it, but these women are just trying to make a living, we shouldn’t judge them for their artistic flare. Oh and also their outward prostitution of their bodies……
Think about how you would feel if rhianna was your girlfriend and men all over the world were getting off on the video of her twerking. Or the attention aspect of this all, no guy likes a girl who is a “me, me, me” kind of person, they would think she is self centered girl.
Now I don’t completely hate Rihanna or anything. I like some of her songs, and I think that when she wears a baseball cap, a hoodie, with long curly hair, she looks like a chill, nice person. I’ve just not come to grasp with why one must twerk in their music video in order for it to be of any higher quality.
Another problem is that now some popular videos on YouTube, vine, and other apps by which you can upload videos, are videos of kids of all age twerking. I’ve seen kids as young as 11 probably, twerking in a video that was shared to the public. Teenage girls are doing it and then posting it to their Facebook pages or other social media accounts in attempts to grasp the attention of the other sex, by using their twerking abilities. Of course that is only going to lead to attention from shallow, thoughtless guys, who just want them for the way their body looks or moves.
I don’t hate twerking in general, but what I do hate is women posting it for any guy’s eyes. Making sexual motions with your body like that should only be showcase for a boyfriend or husband. Some religions think that even showing your hair is an intimate thing, so they make their women wear hijabs. And here we are letting people post these kinds of videos on websites for any man to see.
It’s like Kim kardashian posing for playboy. All those men who looked at those pictures probably found the nearest empty room right away. But I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that if any of those men had the chance to date Kim kardashian that they probably wouldn’t want her to ever pose nude again while in a relationship with her. They’d probably want to have her body to themselves to fully enjoy.
I know that the porn industry isn’t going to shut down, and girls won’t stop twerking, and celebrities won’t keep their music videos classy. I just really wish that sex wasn’t advertised as purely for pleasure, and that it comes plentifully, so don’t savor it. Since when has the view of sex changed from “between man and wife” to “any stranger you find hot, just bang them, because it’s only for pleasure,” or detached from the view “to connect with the one you love, on a deeper level, to draw you two closer together.”

Goodbye fellow bloggers. I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you didn’t, I hope I didn’t offend you in any way. This is just another rant of my view on another random topic :p.