Some words

Sometimes life happens and you feel yourself get swept away in the tide of everyday activities and interactions. You see the crash and fall of the waves, but sometimes you don’t feel them like you naturally would. Something’s on your mind. Your thoughts can’t help but wander. Where do they wander? Is it to thoughts of a significant other? A new romantic interest? Is it that old flame that still burns and singes your soul? Is it wandering to thoughts of finding that thing called love that everyone talks so fondly about? They wander everywhere. Currently stuck on the beautiful idea of a twin flame. “What is a twin flame?” It is a concept that can give you hope or break you down entirely. To those who haven’t found a remarkable spark with anyone, the idea that a greater connection and love brings happiness to them—also alluding to the fact that they haven’t lost their shot yet. Some have love and lost— sometimes they just so happen to lose their twin flame. How would they lose it if it is an even stronger bond/ connection/ passion than a soulmate, you ask? Well you never truly lose it— it becomes unavailable, unattainable, too difficult to hold onto. Not every lost twin flame is gone forever, but sometimes it appears that way. It all comes down to the two individuals who share that connection. Are you stubborn? Are you foolish enough to let your twin flame walk even farther out of your life while you’re settling for a lesser passion? Are you scared? Are you too blind to see that you’re losing them day by day? Are you too heartbroken to give it another shot? If so, you might just lose them. It is a little difficult to continue to try when the odds are against you. History is made, and sometimes bridges are burned. Sometimes those pained goodbyes are final. It’s not because neither of you feel anything for each other anymore— you might feel everything, but you’ll never tell…

The other day I watched a movie that portrayed this kind of connection. They broke up because it was necessary, not because the love had faded. It never faded, even after 20 years of being apart. They still thought of one another after all of that time had passed. When they saw each other after all of those years, the connection, the passion, the yearning for one another still remained. It’s not the conversations they had, or the things that they shared in common, or the things they knew about one another. It was the need to be next to one another, with no clear reason. It is the desire to see and talk to that soul, because it is the only one yours finds effortless comfort with. They craved each other’s bodies– not because their bodies were perfectly toned and proportioned, but because that body belonged to the soul they couldn’t bare to live without.

Of course the movie didn’t end well…. I just so happened to conveniently remember towards the end, that the writer of the story is notorious for creating sad movies involving deaths to induce tears and despair in the viewer.

Love

You find yourself more in love than you ever thought possible. There she lays, in your arms, perfect in every way. Every fiber of your being reacts in an instant to the reception of this precious little gift. She is your baby girl. You immediately acknowledge how fragile this little human is. In that moment, you vow to yourself right then and there, that you will do all you can to ensure that she is treated with the utmost care. She is a reflection of the love shared the night she was created. She is the product of the 9 months of cautious nurture and care of the beautiful womb that carried her. You felt this gorgeous baby’s kicks at night as your wife lay fast asleep. You anticipated her arrival, picturing how this new presence would change your entire world. What would this little bundle of joy look like? Smell like? Sound like? Interact like? Would she have you smile? Your eyes? Would you see a glimpse of yourself in her as her eyes sparkled with glee each time she saw your face reappear in a simple game of peek-a-boo? Many questions flooded your mind at night. Now everything has stilled, and the only question you have is right in front of you: “how will you let this precious child know everyday, without a doubt in her mind, that her daddy loves her?”

Days, weeks, months, years go by, and you see her grow up. She is everything you could have wished for and more. It’s not exactly what she’s done, or said, but in a way, it’s all of that. It’s the perfect imperfection of this little girl, the glimpses of you and your wife in this unique individual. Her smile radiates through the room. She has your blue eyes, she has your wife’s chestnut hair. When she wants something, she imitates your old puppy dog eyes that you used to use on your own parents– sometimes even on your wife as well (in a joking manner). She has an infectious giggle that brings a smile to your face every time you hear it.

One day she comes home from high school, and she tells you she met a boy. The smile on her face gives you the impression that this boy isn’t all that bad for her. You give her a light-hearted mock interrogation anyway, and ask her “does he make you happy?” “does he treat you right?” “is there really a guy out there perfect enough for my little girl?” Then you mention one last thing: “make sure that if he ever treats you any less than you deserve, you walk away, because you’re the most precious gift anyone ever could receive and he sure as hell better know that.” That night, thoughts race through your mind. You remember her first words, the tears you kissed away when she fell down and scraped her knee for the first time, the pride you had when she finally learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, the times you’d come in the kitchen and find her and your wife baking cookies, her first day of school. It all felt like it was just yesterday. Now she’s going on her first date. Your little girl has acknowledged the opposite sex in a new way. She no longer sees these boys as friends anymore. There is the potential that one of these days, she may even kiss one of these boys. That thought is tough to handle. This is your baby, the one you held in your arms. You face the fact that your little girl is now a sexual being, but with that comes primal intentions. How do you know this young boy will treat your daughter right, when all of his urges arise from such an primal place. Will he be able to control himself? On the other hand… will your little girl want him to control himself? A first kiss is enough to think about, but then there is so much more that could follow. Your sweet little baby’s body is seen as a sexual object now. Guys want to touch her and she wants to touch them too. Your darling’s sweet little hands and mouth may go places that would make you cringe. Picturing these things makes you sick. She’s your baby. The little girl that is only meant to be held by your loving, fatherly hands. It was only days ago that she was too small, to young, to walk on her own. So you held her in your arms for hours, staring at that spectacular little face. Your love for her was unconditional from the start, and will remain so until the end. You think of how the guys she will encounter won’t see her in the same light you have. Their love for her, if even love, won’t be unconditional for sure. Some will expect things of her. Some things you don’t even want to think about. The thoughts are put on pause, because you realize you’ll go crazy if you continue to let them ruminate.

So more days, weeks, months, years go by. Your little girl is officially a sexual being now (not that she wasn’t in the first place). There are many things that have happened that she hasn’t told you. She’s had her first kiss, she has experienced much more than that…, and she has gone through heartbreak. Guys have treated her with disrespect– she walked away just like you told her to— though sometimes she didn’t acknowledge it soon enough. The first boy to see your little angel’s unclothed, uncovered, innocent, bare body, trivialized it by jerking off to porn the following night. That boy that gave her her first kiss also gave her her first heartbreak when he cheated on her with a sexy cheerleader while he was intoxicated at a high school party. She dated the nice guys, the good guys, the losers, the jerks, the jocks. She also found the love of her life along the way, who treats her well, loves her in every way possible, and brings out the best in her every day. He’s the boy she’s bringing to thanksgiving when she comes home during the break. Little do you know, he’s the one. He encapsulates everything you could have ever wished for in a man that would hold your daughters heart.

Now don’t feel too relieved, there was another who almost won her heart before she fell for your new potential son-in-law. With this other man, things appeared to be perfectly fine. He was successful and had a fairly good income. He knew that this beautiful girl was too good for him. Yet when a problem would arise, he would blame her, he’d go into denial and would never apologize for his actions. Sometimes he would apologize— but only when it benefited him. If they would have married, he would have barked the words “get out of MY house” when he was frustrated. He would say things to tear her down, not build her up. Any accomplishment of hers would be overlooked. When enraged, he’d bring fear into your little girl’s heart. She would run to the closest room and lock herself inside until he had calmed down. He’s the one who would have stormed out of the house at  2 am in the morning, slamming the door behind him, screeching the car tires as he peeled out of the drive way. He would have been the one to bring doubt, fear, and sadness to your little girl’s heart those nights, making her ask why she deserved this treatment.

No one “deserves” to be treated that way. In this alternate ending, your little girl just found herself in a bad situation. Could you have imagined though, the heartache you would have felt for your little girl if it had gone that way? Wouldn’t you have wanted to walk straight up to that evil man and look him right in the eye and tell him off? Tell him he doesn’t deserve someone as amazing and precious as your little girl?

What if I told you there is a simple way to make sure that this never happens to your daughter/ future daughter? No one would ever break the heart of your bundle of joy, and it involves only one simple task: Treat everyone else’s baby girls with care. That woman you slept with tonight, that girl you’ve been planning to bang, the girl you cheated on when you were younger, the girl you only intend to sleep with. All of them are someone’s baby girl. Treat them as so. If not, how would you ever expect someone else to treat your’s with the utmost care?

Relationships and a paper for finals

Relationships are like writing a very important paper for the end of a semester, to determine whether you pass or fail that class. You may get right on top of it and get it all done and have all that time in between the deadline unburdened form your paper. But you never check and edit your work to perfection, gradually, with all that time you just made. Then there is the procrastinator, who will keep pushing off the task of writing it until he has to turn it in the next day, and then paper isn’t fulfilled, it’s empty, and displays the shallow amount of knowledge that was grasped during his cram session. Those two people turn in the paper and hope for the best, finally realizing that this is huge for their final grade. Too Little, too late. Once they get that paper back marked with an F they shake their heads, and still don’t realize they were the problem, it was never their paper.
The proper way to write a paper is to use all the time you have until your deadline, to ration out days of writing and studying for your paper. You have time to let it grow and flourish, devolving into a master piece. People wonder why you spent so much time on that paper when you could have been indulging in the selfish affairs of life. All you tell them is that you knew with just that right effort you could create a gorgeous paper.
They all laugh, but your smile never fades. You realize that you know something they don’t, and they may just never understand what it truly takes to create that type of master piece.

The third person truly knows how to treat someone (the fictitious paper), in a relationship.

Bye bye readers, this was just a random comparison I thought I’d share :p.

Monogamy

All of my thoughts and points I make in this post are not to judge those of you are into/ ok with these types of relationships. If you’ve cheated in the past or have cheated in the present, I don’t want you to take this as a jab at the way you lived and choose to live your life. This post is just me explaining my point of view on the subject of monogamy and why I prefer it.

I don’t know why, but I’ve never liked the thought of dating many people, and then choosing my favorite. I’m not saying that having a selection of various guys to choose from and kiss, before making my decision, doesn’t sound nice. What doesn’t appeal to me though, is that while I would get to kiss whomever I want, they would also kiss who ever they wanted as well. Naturally, I am also just not a person who could kiss multiple people during the same week, month, or whatever time period it may be, with a clear conscience.  Also, you may get into a relationship with someone while they still feel something for someone they were just casually dating. I condone chatting around, and flirting around with multiple people as a form of ‘dating’, but sleeping around and kissing multiple people is just not something I agree with. In addition to my points above, is that having multiple romantic interests is germ city if you decide to go kiss and sleep with all of them. Kissing many people could give you: mono, aids (can be passed through cuts in the mouth), sicknesses/ colds, and other stuff I cant remember at this moment. Sleeping around could give you: one word…. everything.. Now, I’m not going to tell anyone else not to participate in the thicker (hard to get out of sticky situations pertaining to feelings) form of dating.

I watched this show one time ,where this girl was dating this man for a few weeks. During those weeks, she had naturally assumed that they were ‘going steady’.They had gone out on dinner dates, shared time at her place, shared mutual satisfaction at her place (sex), along with a couple other things. Come to find out, she discovers either through meeting another woman, or seeing another message from a woman that he was dating, that there was another woman, in addition to her. Shortly after her discovery, she confronts him. He tells her that he’s dating multiple woman, other than the one other woman, and her. All I could think was “that douche……“. I know that they hadn’t officially declared the status of their relationship, but they had been dating for 1-6 months (I’m not sure the exact length). Just think about it this way though…. teenagers now make sure they clarify with someone who asks them to be their boyfriend or girlfriend, if they mean ‘exclusively’. 

Now onto Monogamy in official relationships!!! 😀 …..i. e. cheating, open relationships, and the whole shebang!

For the rest of my life, I will never personally get into an open relationship, or stay with someone who serially cheats on me (maybe I wont even give them a second chance after just once..). When I think about being in a relationship and in love, I see myself only desiring my partner, and wanting to give only them my love. I feel that if love is given out to every person you are in contact with, equally, you will never really find a true love. If a kid made his mom a special picture and then as a way of showing her gratitude, she hugged him. Then proceeded to hug all of her other children directly after she hugged her little boy. He wouldn’t see that as a way she appreciated his gift, he would think it was as if there was never even a gift he had given. That’s the way I feel like it would be for someone to tell their partner that they truly love them (because they have that fictitious ‘gift’ they gave, which in this case is their unique love). Then go on to tell their partner they want to share the love and happiness they feel towards their partner to a ton of other people too. There is only so much love we can give, until all of  the recipients start to feel gypped. Our love running thin, is close in contrast to a mother with many, many children. She wont have much time to give to each one what they desire, because she needs to give that love to the rest of her children she loves.

Onto cheating….. why do people do it? Just why…..?!?! The main causes of cheating come from a deficit in the relationship, in compatibility (one of them wants an open relationship, so forcefully creates the situation for them self), or thrill of having many people desiring them, etc. It’s quite a selfish act…. it’s self indulgent, lack of thought for your partners feelings, and using another person to fill whatever void you may have. If you cheat because of a deficit in your relationship, don’t go searching for total fulfillment in two parts (two different women, or men). Respect your partner and end your relationship. Then, find complete fulfillment, with just one partner. Now, if you cheat conscientiously and then tell your partner you’re sorry and want another chance, you should keep in mind that if you truly wanted to keep your partner in the first place, you wouldn’t have done anything to mess with your relationship.

Now that you have fully read this, I would like to remind you of this, still no judging! :p. Just thought I’d share my perspective. I watched a video today that touched on this topic a bit, so it made me think to write a post of my own about it.

Adiós fellow bloggers! 🙂

A sweet little memory

This is the short story of Nicholas and Haley. I didn’t know much about the two of them or how they initially met. What I do know, though, is that they both played part in one of the cutest memories that will be forever stuck in my mind.

They both joined a class to widen their knowledge of nature. When Nicholas came into class the first day he was wearing an undeniably cute little plaid short sleeved button up, plus his binoculars that were hung around his neck. Haley was as pale as a cotton ball, with her thin woodsy-maroon hair pulled back into a light little ponytail.

It was about midway through the class when they were about to be led on a nature hike. Haley went to pick up Nicholas’s binoculars for him, because he had placed them on the table during one of the activities. Confused, Nicholas quickly made his way over to her and exclaimed “Haley! Are you trying to steal my binoculars?!”. Shocked that he would even accuse her of that, she quickly replied, “No Nicholas, I would never do that, I- I-I love you Nicholas!!”. Relieved, but still quit puzzled, he answered back, “Oh.” The two made their way out of the class room along with the rest of the group.

Whilst on the walk Nicholas pondered what Haley meant by love. He walked up beside her and asked, still quite taken aback, “If you love me, does- does- that mean we’re going to get married someday?”. Haley looks looked at him and responded as though the answer was completely obvious, “Of course not Nicholas!! I’m going to marry my mommy and daddy!”. Still quite perplexed by this confusing little lady he simply replied once more, “oh.”