Just today I was scrolling through instagram’s main page, and I continued to see pictures of my favorite musician and his new girlfriend. The first time I saw a picture of them I was instantly happy for him; he finally was with a girl who he couldn’t stop smiling around. There has been lots of talk by the fans about how sad they are to see him with a girl (because they’re kinda obsessed with him…), how these photos were all supposedly stolen and then leaked, and how this new girl can’t possibly compare to the girl he was singing about in all of his previous songs. None of that really matters though. For someone who can resonate with the somber tone portrayed in a lot of his earlier work, it makes me happy to see that even when you’ve appeared to sink so low, there’s the possibility that there’s someone out there that could possibly change that–maybe not forever, and perhaps not the same way you’ve felt before–but at least enough to get by for just a while. Enough to change up your tone and give you the perspective you need to be yourself once again. I know we don’t necessarily lose ourselves when we’re depressed and introspective, but we lose that light in our eyes. Everything singes your soul so much that you’re numb, yet feelings still flood onto a page and appear as though you feel every inch of them. It’s not that you don’t feel them, it’s that you feel them so intensely, it’s hard to sense the change. Through this, the line between happiness and sadness seem to blur. You can feel glee one moment, and in the next, you’re unable to recall what it’s like to be happy. Then one day, something, or someone snaps you back to reality. For my favorite musician, it’s his new muse. For the mean time it appears as though his old ghost (old heartbreak/ ex) no longer haunts him. He’s been set free. He found a girl who seems to help him forget his past heartbreak. It’s quite fitting that he will be releasing a more upbeat album soon, because it is exactly the kind of music I’ll be looking for. In the next few months I’m going to experience some change. In about one month precisely, I’ll be settled and ready to make some changes in my love life.
Currently I’m still single, like you all probably know. I’ve had feelings for guys, but nothing has happened yet. Here in France, I have less than two weeks, so I surely won’t be starting anything with a french guy. Once I get home I have two more weeks before I head off to college. Who knows if anything will happen. If it does, it will most likely be a no-strings-attached goodbye fling of making out and cuddling. Who knows. All I know is that I’m ready for a new tempo. My last posts have been hinting towards a sense of not letting go. Well now is the time that I must. I’ve gone on too long with my unpredictable emotions affecting my choices (when it comes to dating) and my writing. From now on, I intend to simply focus on treating everyone with love and kindness and see where it goes. I’m going to purge anger, resentment, sadness, and any other negative emotions from my system.
Now I won’t make any promises that this blog will be purely all about thoughts of positivity and happiness, cause we all do still have our down days, but I’m going to make an effort to look at life through a new filter.