You just don’t understand

I bet many people mentally recite this phrase probably a million times each day. We all believe no one understands us. That they just wouldn’t understand. Sometimes though, I feel as if we block the chance of actually truly giving them the possibility to understand us. No body knows everything, so maybe the reason they don’t understand, is because you haven’t provided them with the exact knowledge of your situation to truly get how you’re feeling.
I think that phrase to myself as I am informing my best friend about my love life recently. What I’m not always realizing though, is that there are days that pass that I go through things pertaining to my love dynamics, that she doesn’t see. I also may not remember every detail of it when it comes time to tell her about it all.
There is also this guy that I’ve been talking to, I think I mentioned him before, but if I haven’t, here is his nickname Mr. NGM. It stands for Mr. Nice Guy (and the first initial of his name). Now what he is not understanding, is why I want an ex back. If he knew the entire story of the relationship, and knew how the guy and I were together, maybe it would help him comprehend why I feel that way.
But now readers, it is time I help you guys understand the situation I’ve been going through the past few days. So for those of you who haven’t read my previous blog posts, I’ll explain. First I had a 3 month relationship with Mufasa B., then I broke up with him because we didn’t talk as much as I would like (very lame reason to break up.. I know). Then OT asked me out the day after I broke up with Mufasa B. OT and I had a 5 month relationship, but he turned out to be an emotionless jerk… So then, he broke up with me, and 2 ish days later my sister’s boyfriend set me up with his friend who had wanted to date me for a while, ever since he had met me like a month or so before. He asked me to be his girlfriend the night that I was set up with him. I thought at that time I was ready to move on, so I said yes. It turned out that I dated him for probably 3 days, then I broke up with him, cause I thought I was still hung up on Mufasa B. The next night I thought I was over Mufasa B., so I admitted to Mr. NGM that I still like him (Mr. NGM). So that lasted the evening until around 10-11 at night we were video chatting, and he mentioned my ex, Mufasa B. I never ended up even kissing Mr. NGM. Then emotions that I thought I didn’t feel for Mufasa B., rose up again, so I ended it with Mr. NGM so he wouldn’t become attached, and then I go back to to my ex or something. Because I knew at that moment, if Mufasa B. asked me back, I would have said yes. I still know that, because that is the reason I am explaining all of this to you.
I’ll let you know why I am thinking I am hung up on this ex of mine, Mufasa B. :
• It feels like we never stopped talking, because all the giddiness and butterflies that still attack me when we message.
• I think he was the only guy I ever loved. I think I just lied to myself about OT.
• He was by far the best kisser. Instead of just physically kissing, it seemed as though he kissed with his soul as well.
• Makes me feel nervous in a good way.
• Even though at a time it didn’t seem as though he was giving enough to me (talking, or seeing each other, and such), it never seemed as though the distance ever made it hard for him to still love me.
• He doesn’t go around talking about how girls are good looking strait to my face. I like honesty and all, but it’s not lying in my book, to hold yourself back from voicing those thoughts to your girlfriend…
• We talked the majority of our relationship. Just messaging each other talking about our day or anything else.
• It appears that he operates just like me. When in a relationship or even just liking somebody, and even when you’re in the in between, not official stage yet kind of place. You don’t go doing stuff or flirting with other people, because you know how you would feel if they do the same. So basically an instinctual monogamous/ unhypocritical way of thinking.
• He actually will talk about making out, and the works, without getting all weird. There are some guys you can tell, that you want to make out with them, but the conversation doesn’t go farther than that. But when someone is comfortable and willing enough to say what turns them on the most, and ask you what would turn you on the most, that is a turn on in it’s own!!
• And he’s also all the generics you usually tell people about, about the guy you like. He’s sweet, funny, caring, and smart.

I think it’s a very big possibility that he and I will rekindle our old flame. But we’ll just all have to wait and see what happens when I elaborate in my future blog posts.

Goodnight my readers :).

A true love story

When you look at my title for this post you may think you’re going to hear about a story of two humans growing closer and closer together. Well that is not what this is about…. This is about dogs, and all other pets alike that live solely to be around whenever you need a fluffy, silent, listening ear.
I used to have a dog. He was a beautiful little dog, and I will never forget all the memories I had with him. I remember when he would hear the garage door opening and come running to the door to great my family and I; when he would get all flustered when we would pretend we were dogs too, and started to playfully growl at him; his little soulful whine when he heard us mimic his little voice he would make whenever he would get sad; the way he would follow us around the house to find out what activity was up next; his soft fur; vibrant personality; his ability to keep his tail wagging through anything, giving me inspiration to try and be as optimistic as he was all the time.
I saw a picture online just a few minutes ago, that said: “he may just be a part of your world, but you are his entire world”. It had the cutest picture of this gorgeous golden retriever looking as adorable as ever :). When I think about that picture though, it makes me sad to think that some people may not realize how much love their pet truly has for them. Those small black eyes shining back at you are a sign that all that little guy has in his heat for you is pure love. If you think back to any time you were sad, can you remember how those ears were the only ones you could go to, knowing they wouldn’t judge you for anything you did? All they know how to do is look cute and make you feel better, no judgement, no extra grief, just love.
I know this is probably a very random post, but that picture made me feel the need to write something about my doggy that passed away a few months ago. Because I may not say this enough, but I sure miss the little guy, I just don’t always say it out loud <3.

To my little dog in heaven, you will always be loved…. :,) .

Just what I needed! :D

I’m pretty sure you have all heard of Mario, super Mario bros, Mario cart, and many other games with the Mario name tagged on it. Well Mario has a trade mark catch phrase: “just what I needed”. We seem to laugh at little Mario  or completely zone out his voice in all, but his catch phrase reins true. Sometimes something happens and you think to yourself, that’s “just what I needed!” Say you’re not as happy as you could be a certain day. Then out of the blue, either someone compliments you, makes a sweet gesture, or whatever it may be, it just lights up your mood, and your smile is contagious. A smile is one of the simplest acts of kindness that we can give out each day, why don’t we do it more often? Usually we don’t think back to the traditional southern hospitality mentality. Where you see someone, wave, smile, say hello, comment on what a great day it is. All whilst passing by. We have all seemed to adopt a little hint of the northern ways of interacting. If you can even call it interacting. I’m not saying that all northerners are evil people who don’t have a soul, but they seem to have an idea of where their going and how they will execute their plan with the least interruptions to meet all their dead lines. So now instead of talking to people casually passing, we avoid eye contact, in fear of the other person thinking we have the cynical mind of a serial killer out looking for their next prey, or the possibility of awkward prolonged eye contact, etc. It’s all just so confusing to think about, we bypass it all together. Unless….. the person is close to your age, and idea of a perfect mate, you will most likely think about trying as hard as you can to avoid giving them the wrong impression. Yet still even when you want to appear all vivacious and flirty to that eligible prospect, chances are you could very well, cop out and glance coyly to your feet, cause that’s way sexier than exchanging feisty eye contact with them….Back to my main point though, why does the human race grow more and more uncomfortable with the people passing by on the street. We’re all so self conscious about how others perceive us, for all we know they could be focusing on how they are being perceived way to much to even care how we slightly glanced their way. I’ve noticed that when I feel my most confident I have acted more confident, felt happier, and didn’t seem to get as bothered by the little slips I have made, cause I disregarded the way I was being viewed and just thought “what the hay, no one saw that anyway”. I tend to mainly feel confident about my self after a little boost of happiness though, and that’s where the phrase Mario is famous for: “just what I needed”. Some of my “just what I needed” moments have been when I accomplished a goal I set, saw an adorable picture of an animal (don’t judge…it is a happiness inducer all in the same), thinking about a funny moment, listening to a an awesome song, waking up feeling well rested, doing something I love to do, reading an amazing story (in a book, blog, artical, newspaper, etc.), laying on the finely trimmed grass in the summer with the heat of the sun on your back and the breeze cooling you off, when someone compliments me, when I get a nice hug from someone, and many other day brightening mini events.

I hope you had a “just what I needed” moment today, because they truly can turn a sad, neutral, uneventful day, completely around.  

A sweet little memory

This is the short story of Nicholas and Haley. I didn’t know much about the two of them or how they initially met. What I do know, though, is that they both played part in one of the cutest memories that will be forever stuck in my mind.

They both joined a class to widen their knowledge of nature. When Nicholas came into class the first day he was wearing an undeniably cute little plaid short sleeved button up, plus his binoculars that were hung around his neck. Haley was as pale as a cotton ball, with her thin woodsy-maroon hair pulled back into a light little ponytail.

It was about midway through the class when they were about to be led on a nature hike. Haley went to pick up Nicholas’s binoculars for him, because he had placed them on the table during one of the activities. Confused, Nicholas quickly made his way over to her and exclaimed “Haley! Are you trying to steal my binoculars?!”. Shocked that he would even accuse her of that, she quickly replied, “No Nicholas, I would never do that, I- I-I love you Nicholas!!”. Relieved, but still quit puzzled, he answered back, “Oh.” The two made their way out of the class room along with the rest of the group.

Whilst on the walk Nicholas pondered what Haley meant by love. He walked up beside her and asked, still quite taken aback, “If you love me, does- does- that mean we’re going to get married someday?”. Haley looks looked at him and responded as though the answer was completely obvious, “Of course not Nicholas!! I’m going to marry my mommy and daddy!”. Still quite perplexed by this confusing little lady he simply replied once more, “oh.”