Fear

I’m sacred that I’ll convince myself once more that I am wholeheartedly over you. I’m afraid I’ll fall into that abyss of denial and will never find my way back to you. I’m quick to guard my heart, which means if you tell me I’m single, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll share the most meaningless exchanges and inject as much meaning as I can for the other person. I’ll gain their affections, hoping their piqued interest will someway invigorate my attraction to them. Currently I’m playing this little game, I already have my first play in motion, and I’m afraid it is working all too easily. You see I’ve never really had trouble in this game, I just chose to never play it, cause it didn’t suit my style. Instead I played the waiting game. I’d observe the players that walked by, and if any looked particularly unique, then I’d prepare to play. They’d take note, and the games would begin. The only reason I ever participated is because when I waited, I had the opportunity to play an entirely different game altogether. I found that when you play with the best, you always have the most fun. I miss playing with the professionals, the rookies aren’t just cutting it. They don’t know how to make my heart skip a beat, or give me those nervous butterflies. Though maybe it is due to the fact that my heart’s just not in the game anymore. My body is, but even it wants to retract and discontinue what I’ve started. I have many options, but you’re the only one I love. 

Just what I needed! :D

I’m pretty sure you have all heard of Mario, super Mario bros, Mario cart, and many other games with the Mario name tagged on it. Well Mario has a trade mark catch phrase: “just what I needed”. We seem to laugh at little Mario  or completely zone out his voice in all, but his catch phrase reins true. Sometimes something happens and you think to yourself, that’s “just what I needed!” Say you’re not as happy as you could be a certain day. Then out of the blue, either someone compliments you, makes a sweet gesture, or whatever it may be, it just lights up your mood, and your smile is contagious. A smile is one of the simplest acts of kindness that we can give out each day, why don’t we do it more often? Usually we don’t think back to the traditional southern hospitality mentality. Where you see someone, wave, smile, say hello, comment on what a great day it is. All whilst passing by. We have all seemed to adopt a little hint of the northern ways of interacting. If you can even call it interacting. I’m not saying that all northerners are evil people who don’t have a soul, but they seem to have an idea of where their going and how they will execute their plan with the least interruptions to meet all their dead lines. So now instead of talking to people casually passing, we avoid eye contact, in fear of the other person thinking we have the cynical mind of a serial killer out looking for their next prey, or the possibility of awkward prolonged eye contact, etc. It’s all just so confusing to think about, we bypass it all together. Unless….. the person is close to your age, and idea of a perfect mate, you will most likely think about trying as hard as you can to avoid giving them the wrong impression. Yet still even when you want to appear all vivacious and flirty to that eligible prospect, chances are you could very well, cop out and glance coyly to your feet, cause that’s way sexier than exchanging feisty eye contact with them….Back to my main point though, why does the human race grow more and more uncomfortable with the people passing by on the street. We’re all so self conscious about how others perceive us, for all we know they could be focusing on how they are being perceived way to much to even care how we slightly glanced their way. I’ve noticed that when I feel my most confident I have acted more confident, felt happier, and didn’t seem to get as bothered by the little slips I have made, cause I disregarded the way I was being viewed and just thought “what the hay, no one saw that anyway”. I tend to mainly feel confident about my self after a little boost of happiness though, and that’s where the phrase Mario is famous for: “just what I needed”. Some of my “just what I needed” moments have been when I accomplished a goal I set, saw an adorable picture of an animal (don’t judge…it is a happiness inducer all in the same), thinking about a funny moment, listening to a an awesome song, waking up feeling well rested, doing something I love to do, reading an amazing story (in a book, blog, artical, newspaper, etc.), laying on the finely trimmed grass in the summer with the heat of the sun on your back and the breeze cooling you off, when someone compliments me, when I get a nice hug from someone, and many other day brightening mini events.

I hope you had a “just what I needed” moment today, because they truly can turn a sad, neutral, uneventful day, completely around.